


Sonic Makes a Groupchat with 5 Versions of Himself

by LiterallyCantChooseJustOneFandom



Series: Groupchat Fics, Just for Kicks! [1]
Category: Sonic the Comic, Sonic the Hedgehog (2020), Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comic), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Autistic Knuckles the Echidna (Boom), Chaos Draining, Dimension Travel, Donuts, Group Chat Fic, Group chat, It's for a good reason i promise, Kidnapping, M/M, Making threats while eating donuts, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sonic can't handle things, Threats, everyone loves sonic wachowski, i saw the sonic movie and my love for the sonic comics were reawakened, instead of sleep, my first group chat fic, so i decided to do this, those things names are fleetway and scourge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 72
Words: 24,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyCantChooseJustOneFandom/pseuds/LiterallyCantChooseJustOneFandom
Summary: Title says it all, I guess...Also, when I refer to Fleetway Sonic, I'm refering to the Sonic from Fleetway Comics, not the crazy super form. I'll probably get more into that in later chapters.We now has a spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4PDcGRE9OO5Y6i3fBGHY8u?si=FkyAcoVEQm-BP1t85b1seALet me know if yall have song recs!No pedo/pedo-shipper/MAP/whatever tf you're calling it interaction
Relationships: Antoine D'Coolette/Bunnie Rabbot, Knuckles the Echidna/Sonic the Hedgehog, Maddie Wachowski/Tom Wachowski, Miles "Tails" Prower & Sonic the Hedgehog, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sally Acorn & Sonic the Hedgehog, Scourge the Hedgehog & Sonic the Hedgehog, Scourge the Hedgehog/Fleetway Sonic, Shadow the Hedgehog & Sonic Wachowski, Sonic the Hedgehog & Maddie Wachowski & Tom Wachowski
Series: Groupchat Fics, Just for Kicks! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791706
Comments: 924
Kudos: 525





	1. regret

**Author's Note:**

> Sonic - everyone likes the original better
> 
> Scourge - but the internet likes the opposite the best
> 
> Classic - cause im baby and classic
> 
> Fleetway Comics Sonic - ...but i can say fuck
> 
> Movie Sonic - national_treasure
> 
> Zonic - spacecop

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ created a groupchat _

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_** _added_ ** _cause_** **_im baby and classic_**

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_...but i can say fuck_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_national_treasure_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _added_ **_spacecop_ **

  
  


_ everyone likes the original better _

so … how yall doin :D

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

why am i here and why are these other people here and who are these people

_ spacecop _

We’re all versions of Sonic.

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

que?

_ spacecop _

@ **im baby and classic** is the younger version of Sonic. Sonic and young Sonic have met which means that the younger is now, also, from an alternate timeline.

_ im baby and classic _

sup. also, am mute so no vc

_but the internet likes the opposite the best_

fair

  
  


_ spacecop _

@ **...but i can say fuck** is from a zone with a lot more magical energies besides Chaos energy.

_...but i can say fuck _

and also i can say fuck

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

I think we got it, genius

_...but i can say fuck _

wasn’t sure, you seem like a dumbass

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

… i like this one

_ spacecop _

@ **national_treasure** is from a way different universe. Mobius is entirely different from Earth in his zone and also his speed fuels electrokinesis. If Sonic Prime didn’t have his “Entity of Chaos” thing going on,  **national_treasure** could very well have the most powerful base form out of all of us.

_national_treasure_

wait, no one else does the lightning thing???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Fucking seriously??? I absorbed the power of the Master Emerald! And who are you then?

_ spacecop _

Take a good look at my username, Scourge

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

...ew its you again

Zonic the space sheriff

Zonic the massive dickwad

Zonic the interdimensional pain in my ass

_...but i can say fuck _

Zonic the vertical speedbump

_ spacecop _

What have i done to you???

_...but i can say fuck _

nothing, it just looked fun

Zonic the slowest of the Sonics

_ spacecop _

I can and will arrest you

_...but i can say fuck _

you;ll have to catch me first slow-hog

you make turtles and hares both feel self-confident enough to lose their virginity

_ everyone likes the original better _

guys please,there are literal children here

**_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

I regret


	2. *Bad Things* aka, dont corrupt the bb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's a chapter that's going to have a second part or something, idk

_ everyone likes the original better _

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

stfu

_ everyone likes the original better _

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

what in the everliving fuck do you want

_ everyone likes the original better _

ok first of all, language

sencond of all, have you ever wondered what would happen if we traded power minerals?

_ national_treasure _

he’s captain america!

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

like, if I got the chaos emeralds and you got the anarchy beryl???

why

GODDAMNIT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT NOW IM ACTUALLY LEGITAMELY CURIOUS

@ **...but i can say fuck** u want in on this? you have chaos emeralds in your zone, right?

_...but i can say fuck _

i do, but im staying out of this. my emeralds are wacky, not good, really bad, and is the reason i can say fuck without feeling bad. they nearly made me kill nerdbutt and lady weeb.

_ everyone likes the original better _

Tails and Amy???

_...but i can say fuck _

that’s what i said

Also, i don’t understand why everyone calls my superform “fleetway”? Fleetway is what my entire universe is called???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

he said BITCH

_ spacecop _

He said BITCH

_ cause im baby and classic _

HE SAID BITCH

_ everyone likes the original better _

*gasp!*

_ national_treasure _

what’s bitch?

_ everyone likes the original better _

*GASP!*

None of you had better repeat that!

@ **national_treasure** dont worry about it you absolute bean, dont worry at all

fr tho, @ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** if you come back to mobius prime with anarchy beryl and help me fnd the chaos emeralds, im serious, we can, like, exchange

I wont tell anyone youre here, im literally that curious

We can do it quick in amd out

_ spacecop  _

I wouldn’t recommend that

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

just for that, spaceballs, imma do it.

@ **everyone likes the original better** ill be there in 20 minutes

Fuck it, imma make it in 10

_ everyone likes the original better _

nice, ill meet you 650 km NNE of FF HQ with the two emeralds i have

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Nice

_ spacecop _

Please reconsider

_...but i can say fuck _

please dont, i want deets

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

fuck off helmet head, we’r doin this

_ spacecop _

Sonic Prime, you can’t be serious.

_ everyone likes the original better _

curiosity killed the hedgehog 🙃

_ spacecop _

That’s not even the saying!

_ everyone likes the original better _

it is now

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** im at the spot, but someone’s going to notice that theyre gone

Hurrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy

_...but i can say fuck _

yall better update regularly once scourge gets there, oml

_ spacecop _

If the both of you don’t stop rn, *Bad Things* will happen.

I seriously cannot recommend doing this.

Seriously, please, don’t do it.

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

@ **everyone likes the original better** omw


	3. yall are on thin fucking ice

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

im not saying i shouldve listened to @ **spacecop**

_...but i can say fuck _

???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

but i am saying that maybe we shouldve considered what he said for a lil longer

_...but i can say fuck _

!!!

Explain

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

@ **everyone likes the original better** get ur ass out of here

if i have to explain this, so do you

_ everyone likes the original better _

plz no

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

aight children (@ **everyone** ) gathr round

_ national_treasure _

storytime!!! i love storytime!!!

_ everyone likes the original better _

you bean

_ cause im baby and classic _

he is such a bean

_...but i can say fuck _

youre???? younger than him?????

_ spacecop _

^^^

_ cause im baby and classic _

why must you expose me like this

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

well now that everyones here

so i got to mobius prime, right?

_ everyone likes the original better _

and he gets there without being seen by anyone so we’re like ‘cool, great’

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

and we get the other five chaos emeralds

It was smooth going

_ everyone likes the original better _

and we even had gotten a nice little cave to transform in

and we did transform!

_ spacecop _

But?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

BUT!

_ everyone likes the original better _

BUT!

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

the cave walls bust down on all sides

basically, we werer in the middle of a showdown btween egghead and EVERYONE

_ everyone likes the original better _

The FF, team dark, chaotixs

Even cream and cheese were there

_...but i can say fuck _

oh?? what happened then???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

my accomplice

_ everyone likes the original better _

plz no

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

this asshole

_ everyone likes the original better _

i said im sorry!!!

_ national_treasure _

what did you do???

_ everyone likes the original better _

well...

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

HE PUNCHED ME

EVERYONE WAS ALL STILL AND STARRING AT US AND HE PUNCHES ME

IN A SUPER FORM HE BORROWED FROM MY ZONE

_ everyone likes the original better _

I SAID IM SORRY

_...but i can say fuck _

omg

_ spacecop _

I shouldn’t be laughing but I am

_ cause im baby and classic _

plz i cant

tell me theres more to the story

_ everyone likes the original better _

theres more to the story

_ national_treasure _

Yay!!!

_ everyone likes the original better _

ilu bb, but its not yayworthy

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

he punches me and shit goes so sideways so quickly

fighting everywhere and this asshole is just throwing so many punches my way and is like

totally not giving a fuck about collateral damage

_ everyone likes the original better _

i actually dont remember much of this part myself so…

oops?

_ spacecop _

I can explain why after the story, but please finish

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

right so

me and him fly a couple hundred miles out and we r fighting and shit and it was crazy

eventually i calm him down but hes growling and shit and i book it out with my warp ring but i de-superd so he still got the emeralds in his zone

which bites cause i actually really liked those a bit better thn my anarchy shit

Im not sure what happened after i booked tho

_ everyone likes the original better _

according to tails and sally i was really out of it when they found me un-supered

like, i asked what day it was and they answered and i asked “of what year”

and i had no idea how i got to where we ended up

I totally passed out for a few hours too i think

Like i said, i dont remember much

@ **spacecop** explain

_ spacecop _

So basically, while both gems have the same outcomes, they have different effects.

Like, the chaos emeralds are meant to encourage peace, meanwhile Sonic’s aggression came from the beryl’s need to create anarchy. It’s a bit on the nose with the name.

Also, the chaos emeralds are meant to make the user feel rejuvenated, so the anarchy beryl likely takes a bit of a toll on the super-person, especially a first-timer.

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Can Confirm

_ everyone likes the original better _

^^^^

_ spacecop _

So did we all learn our lessons?

_...but i can say fuck _

lmao I didnt

@ **everyone likes the original better** i have a better idea than this mess, dm me

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Oh shit imma grab popcorn

_ spacecop _

Why must i be surrounded by you buffoons

_ national_treasure _

You love us.

_ spacecop _

Only you kiddo

Only you

_ cause im baby and classic _

*hurt smol boi noises*

_ spacecop _

You too, but youre on thin fucking ice


	4. u lil shit

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ direct message to  _ **_...but i can say fuck_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

ok whats your idea???

_...but i can say fuck _

do you think people would notice if we changed places 😈

_ everyone likes the original better _

uh

yes?

dude, ur like 3” taller than me

and also, a complete asshole

_...but i can say fuck _

so??? 

even if people know im not you

which lets face it, why would anyone think that youve been replaced by yet another alternate version of you who just curses

what are they gonna do?

Im def not scourge so i wont do anything worth arresting me for

_ everyone likes the original better _

youll curse in front of cream and thats definitely an arrestable offense

_...but i can say fuck _

but what if i promise not to?

_ everyone likes the original better _

listen,, this isnt a good idea

_...but i can say fuck _

what if i just come to your universe anyway? 

_ everyone likes the original better _

*NO*

_...but i can say fuck _

too late, lol

_ everyone likes the original better _

where tf r u????!

_...but i can say fuck _

outside freedom hq

_ everyone likes the original better _

Omw u lil shit

_...but i can say fuck _

wait 

no


	5. respect women juice

_ everyone likes the original better _

@ **...but i can say fuck** GET OUT HERE AND CONFESS YOUR SINS

_...but i can say fuck _

YOU CANT MAKE ME

_ everyone likes the original better _

I CAN AND WILL KICK YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE

_...but i can say fuck _

ITS RAINING, THATS MEAN

_ cause im baby and classic _

???

why is he in prime’s house?

_ everyone likes the original better _

like i said befoer

@ **...but i can say fuck** GET OUT HERE AND CONFESS YOUR SINS

_...but i can say fuck _

FINE

so my plan was basically that me and prime sonic switch places

he said no, but i was already in his zone

he runs out of FF HQ and tries to get me to go away

and i was like “bitch no”

so it becomes a fight

_ cause im baby and classic _

if its right in front of FF HQ, did people see it?

_ everyone likes the original better _

THEY MOST CERTAINLY DID

_...but i can say fuck _

prime FF all pile out of HQ nd r all confused

im on top of prime sonic and i see sally and oops

_ everyone likes the original better _

this mfer sees sally and goes “oh shit, your sally got a figure!”

_...but i can say fuck _

and he punches me in the jaw and almost throttles me

tails and winter blubber had to pull him off of me

_ national_treasure _

Drink Respect Women Juice, fleet

_ everyone likes the original better _

his name is Rotor, and hes the only reason ur jaw isnt totaly broken rn

respiect him

_...but i can say fuck _

noted

but basically i give the FF the run down on evrythin

Not including the scourge incident last time, just my shit

i aint a snitch

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

thank u ur a real one

_...but i can say fuck _

of course

but basically they were like “tall sonic can leave when he dosent have bruises, our sonic can give him his bottom bunk”

so now im here in prime zone until my bruises heal

(or until i want to, lmao)

_ national_treasure _

so how long are you actually staying??? 

_...but i can say fuck _

idk, until i get bored ig

_ national_treasure _

that’s fair

there better be more story-times out of this

_...but i can say fuck _

oh dont you worry your adorable little head about it

imma make as much trble as i can


	6. i wrote this while listening to beyonce, aka robodad

_...but i can say fuck _

@ **national_treasure** hey i have storytime

_ national_treasure _

!!!

is it good?

_...but i can say fuck _

yes

_ everyone likes the original better _

no

_...but i can say fuck _

Yes tho

_ national_tresure _

well tell me what happened!

_...but i can say fuck _

so basically

we came back to prime’s house while chuck and his mom (aperantly prime isnt an orphan, the lucky bastard) and dad was on a walk

also, his dad’s a robot

_ national_treasure _

What?? that’s so cool!   
  


_...but i can say fuck _

ikr???

anyways

i start getting set up on his bottom bunk and we start arguing for some reason

_ everyone likes the original better _

i was trying to get you to apologize to sal for being a dick

_...but i can say fuck _

like i said, for some reason

well we didnt wake prime’s mom and uncle, but robodad came back and could hear us

with his robot ears

_ national_treasure _

so cool

_...but i can say fuck _

and i may or may notve started actually fighting him again

_ everyone likes the original better _

read: he definitely did

_...but i can say fuck _

so robodad storms in with wrist missles

_ national_treasure _

that is so cool!!!

_...but i can say fuck _

right!

we all just sort of freeze and im like “holy shit, thats so cool” and robodad goes “sonic...sonics, explain”

_ everyone likes the original better _

and fleet has been trying to get him to get confused between the both of us, and i think its starting to work

like someone getting confused over twins ig

_...but i can say fuck _

its like 2 am here, so we have to explain all this again when fleshmom and The Uncle wake up

_ national_treasure _

fleshmom, lol

_ everyone likes the original better _

they have names you know

_...but i can say fuck _

whats the fun in that

_ everyone likes the original better _

well im going to sleep, yall better not blow up my phone

_...but i can say fuck _

aight sleeping beauty

_ everyone likes the original better _

i know im beautiful, thank u for finally admitting in

_ national_treasure _

oh, that was good, i need to use that some time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sonic's parents and uncle chuck finally make appearances.
> 
> Also, most versions of Sonic are orphans, but Archie Sonic got his parents back, so...


	7. naked molerat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that most of these sonics don't have a snively and tbh, I laughed the first time I saw snively in an archie comic.

_...but i can say fuck _

@ **everyone** yall, this zone’s robotnik calls himself

EGGMAN

Im cackling

_ national_treasure _

wait, he calls *himself* eggman

_ cause im baby and classic _

wait, fr???

that wasnt a joke?????

he - omg

_ everyone likes the original better _

yeah, i had to stop myself from laughing when i heard

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

my robotnik is literally kintobor

‘robotnik’ backwards

_ spacecop _

Admittedly a downgrade.

For an attempted conqueror, and in some cases a realized conqueror, going from Robotnik to Eggman really undermines his potential intimidation factor.

_...but i can say fuck _

it makes him sound like a dumbass

does he sell eggs? eggman the egg peddler

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

eggman the eggsucker

_ national_treasure _

i literally called my robotnik ‘eggman’ to make fun of him, r u saying he *willingly* calls himself eggman

_...but i can say fuck _

thats not the best of it yet

_ everyone likes the original better _

he calls his territory the eggamn empire, sometimes calls it eggman land and has a nephew called snively

SNIVELY

like, im realizing how ridiculous it all is now because seriously ‘eggman land’

what cruel parents name their kid ‘snively’

im gonna cackle the next time i see him

_...but i can say fuck _

IM ALREADY CACKLING

I SAY A PIC OF THIS GUY AND YALL

HE HAS EXACTLY THREE HAIRS ON HIS HEAD

LIKE, YOU CAN INDIVIDUALLY COUNT THEM

**...but i can say fuck** sent a [.jpeg](http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/archiesonic/images/thumb/c/cf/Snively01.png/255px-Snively01.png)

_ cause im baby and classic _

WTF

_ national_treasure _

THAT ISNT A HUMAN, THATS A NAKED MOLERAT IN A GREEN JACKET

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

^^^^LMFAO

HES 

WHY DOES HE EXIST

_ everyone likes the original better _

@ **national_treasure** ill never be able to look at him as anything other than that again, thnk u so much

OMG I ACTUALLY SEE IT THO, STOOOOOOOOPPPPP

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

he cant be real

i can believe that a human with such an outragous mustache and literal egg shape can exist

but this has to be fake

_ everyone likes the original better _

Its tru, lmao

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

i dont believe you, im coming over there to see for myself

_ everyone likes the original better _

:0

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

*youve fallen right into my trap card*


	8. that boi need help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonic - everyone likes the original better
> 
> Scourge - but the internet likes the opposite the best
> 
> Classic - cause im baby and classic
> 
> Fleetway Comics Sonic - ...but i can say fuck
> 
> Movie Sonic - national_treasure
> 
> Zonic - spacecop
> 
> Tails - im smarter than you
> 
> Sally - stressed depressed princess
> 
> Bunnie - literal firepower
> 
> Antoine - je suis beau
> 
> Rotor - dont touch my skyboat

**_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

i cnat

i

cnat

I catn

_ spacecop _

Take your time.

_ everyone likes the original better _

i cant hnalde

_ national_treasure _

is he ok???

_ cause im baby and classic _

@ **everyone likes the original better** do you need help

_ everyone likes the original better _

eyes

yse

yes

_ spacecop _

Are fleetway and scourge at your house?

_ everyone likes the original better _

Yse

_ spacecop _

Can you contact the FF?

_ everyone likes the original better _

yse

_ spacecop _

Contact them and if they can’t help, message back and I’ll come back to your zone, ok?

_ everyone likes the original better _

k

_ national_treasure _

is he ok?

_ spacecop  _

He's got the most stressful versions of him at his house with him right now. He’ll be ok, but right now?

He need help.

**_Freedom Fighters Official Groupchat_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

hple

Sco at houes

ned hekp

_ stressed depressed princess _

Are you ok???

_ everyone likes the original better _

no

hrlp

trbl a t hoisw

_ im smarter than you _

@ **everyone**

im on my way to your house, sit tight sonic

_everyone likes the original better_

than kyou

_ literal firepower _

Right behind you, with @ **je suis beau**

_ stressed depressed princess _

+me

rotor, can you pick up a firstaid kit on your way?

_ dont touch my skyboat _

already in my hands

omw


	9. accidental kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scourge - but the internet likes the opposite the best
> 
> Classic - cause im baby and classic
> 
> Fleetway Comics Sonic - ...but i can say fuck
> 
> Movie Sonic - national_treasure
> 
> Zonic - spacecop
> 
> Tails - im smarter than you
> 
> Sally - stressed depressed princess
> 
> Bunnie - literal firepower
> 
> Antoine - je suis beau
> 
> Rotor - dont touch my skyboat
> 
> Nicole - omniscient

**_Freedom Fighters Official Groupchat_ **

_stressed depressed princess_

hey @ **dont touch my skyboat** , might want to dump the first aid kit

**_stressed depressed princess_ ** _added_ **_omniscient_ ** _to_ **_Freedom Fighters Official Groupchat_ **

_stressed depressed princess_

@ **omniscient** please try to get Zonic on call, we need to follow a warp ring trail

_dont touch my skyboat_

whats the situation

_stressed depressed princess_

it looks like the other sonic and scourge kidnapped our sonic and theyre zone-hoping

_dont touch my skyboat_

i can contact knuckles and team dark, see if they can help

_stressed depressed princess_

please and thank you

**_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_spacecop_

@ **...but i can say fuck** @ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** Why did i just get a call from the Freedom Fighters saying that they needed help tracking you down because you kidnapped Sonic?

_national_treasure_

!!!

_cause im baby and classic_

!!!

_but the internet likes the opposite the best_

idk, why did you get a call from the FF saying we kidnapped Blue?

_spacecop_

Why did you kidnap him???

_...but i can say fuck_

we ? didnt???

_national_treasure_

why isnt prime chiming in???

_cause im baby and classic_

did u kidnap him or not???

_but the internet likes the opposite the best_

we r in fleetway’s zone for ice cream

prime’s phone is dead

he came willingly

_spacecop_

How do you explain the signs of a struggle at Prime’s house then?

_...but i can say fuck_

we didnt say we didnt fight, but that was before we decided to get ice cream

like, we were fighting a bit, a friendly tussle, and me and the furry lime over here were stressing him out a bit so we decided to get ice cream

its a complete coincidence his phone died

_spacecop_

Don’t move from that spot. I’m on my way. I’m bringing Sonic back home and if you two cooperate, I won’t arrest you, but only because this is a huge misunderstanding. Don’t let it happen again.

_national_treasure_

how would somthing like this happen again???

_...but i can say fuck_

youd be surprised

we have some weird adventures

youll see eventually

probably 

_but the internet likes the opposite the best_

jail sucks so…

thnx zon

_spacecop_

:O

It’s no problem. Just be sure not to be detected by other zone cops!

_...but i can say fuck_

brilliant advice as always, lawman

the place is in subway city, literally the only place that sells ice cream in the city

You cant miss it

_spacecop_

omw


	10. nicole is god confirmed

**Freedom Fighters Official Groupchat**

_ everyone likes the original better _

hey so im not dead

just my phone did

_ im smarter than you  _

Sonic!!! R u ok??? did they hurt you?

_ everyone likes the original better _

no, im all good

they actually took me to get ice cream so its not the worst accidental kidnapping ive been involved with so far

_ je suis beau _

ice cream???

_ everyone likes the original better _

yeah, im hoping for chili dogs next time

_ literal firepower _

sugar, ur the only 1 i know to joke about being kidnapped

_ everyone likes the original better _

tbf, ive joked about the literal end of the world before on multiple occasions

so

you know

_ stressed depressed princess _

fair

_ omniscient _

I have footage of his doing exactly that on at least five different occasions.

If I pulled footage from his fights with Eggman where I was not present, I would likely have 225% more footage.

Would you like me to send it to you @ **literal firepower** ?

_ literal firepower _

no, thank you nicole

do you record everything???

_ omniscient _

For the sake of my safety and your and your husband’s confidence, I do not wish to answer that.

_ je suis beau _

…

_ everyone likes the original better _

:O

_ im smarter than you _

:O

_ stressed depressed princess _

wow

_ literal firepower _

i think you already gave me my answer, thank you

_ omniscient _

No problem!

_ everyone likes the original better _

actually, @ **omniscient** , can i have that ‘joking about the end of the world’ footage???

_ omniscient _

Sending now…

_ everyone likes the original better _

nice


	11. precious sonic for the win

**_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

guess whos back

back again

_ national_treasure _

sonic’s back

_ cause im baby and classic _

back again

_...but i can say fuck _

thank fuck, i was worried we broke you

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

^^^

_ everyone likes the original better _

awwww, yall were worried? About lil ol me???

also, language

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

dont push it blu

blu prime

_ spacecop _

I propose a group vacation.

_ national_treasure _

!!!

_ cause im baby and classic _

group vaca??? 

like all of us vacationing together???

_ spacecop _

Yes.

_...but i can say fuck _

as much as im always up for a vacation and i hate to look a gift horse in the mouth…

why???

_ spacecop _

I finally got a week off of my duties, Prime has been stressed for longer than either you or @ **but** **the internet likes the opposite the best** have been in his zone, @ **cause im baby and classic** is a literal child dealing with the same Robotnik most of us have to deal with, and @ **national_treasure** defeated his own Robotnik for the first time a little over a month ago. 

We could all just use a vacation/celebration.

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

ok sure, but where would we even go???

_ national_treasure _

you guys can come to my zone!

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

arent you not allowde to be seen by humans?

_ national_treasure _

sure but thats only outside of green hills, everyone there knows me now

and either way everyone’s staying inside for *reasons* that dont pose a dnager to nonhumans

i have a huge attic all to myself and a huge forest thats super cool to run in and a little cave that im currently redecorating and the donut shop always gives me a dozen for free whenever i come in

and maddie makes the best french toast

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

maddie

_ spacecop _

Maddie?

_ cause im baby and classic _

maddie???

_...but i can say fuck _

who tf maddie?

_ everyone likes the original better _

does she make pancakes too?

_ national_treasure _

shes a vet

so basically i had to team up with her husband to take down robotnik

hes the sheriff btw

And they gave me a room to stay and basically i think im adopted now???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

of course its a fucking cop, lmao

now we kno why he actually gets free donuts

_ national_treasure _

now we know my parents actually love me

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

:O

_ everyone likes the original better _

omfg

_...but i can say fuck _

999? yes hello id like to report a murder

_ spacecop _

I think it’s safe to say that precious Sonic won that one.

_ cause im baby and classic _

im dying

cackling

omg

_ national_treasure _

so we’re all vacationing here then?

_ everyone likes the original better _

shouldnt u ask tom and maddie first?

_ national_treasure _

u rite, give me a sec

* * *

The idea for that whole "my parents love me thing" was originally [Drearee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drearee/pseuds/Drearee)'s in the comments of chapter 6. It was so absolutely brilliant, I had to include it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 999 is one of the emergency numbers of the police in the UK, which was where Fleetway comics were published.


	12. VACA IS A GO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom - sheriffwachowshi3.0
> 
> Maddie - new_mom_inbound

**_Wachowski Family GC_ **

_ national_treasure _

hey quick quesion

_ new_mom_inbound _

Yes?

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Isnt that the only type of question you ask?

_ national_treasure _

lol

this might require some background tho

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

oh no

_ national_treasure _

so you know those books and movies with alternate dimensions and how i have rings that go basically everywhere

_ new_mom_inbound _

are you saying there are alternate dimensions and you can visit them

_ national_treasure _

yes

well, i dont want to visit them, but im on a gc with other alternate mes

like 5 different versions of me

well technically im an alternate version of one of them

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

wait ok give me a second to wrap my brain around this information

_ national_treasure _

…

_ new_mom_inbound _

…

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

ok im good, please continue

_ national_treasure _

well one of the versions is an interdimensional cop

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

nice

_ national_treasure _

and he has a week off and two other sonics live in a world where robotnik took over most of the planet and another was banished from his version of the planet and another one has to deal with a robotnik while being younger than all of us other sonics

basically we thought a group vaca would be cool

_ new_mom_inbound _

and you want to vacation here, right?

_ national_treasure _

yes

please

if that’s ok with you?

i figured that technically this universe is the safest zone for us and also the donut shop is really nice and the other sonics would appreciate donuts and also we’ll constantly have a cop with us so you know we wont be breaking any rules

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

im so proud that theres a cop version of you

how does ‘Sheriff Sonic Wachowski, 4th generation Sheriff Wachowski’ sound to you???

_ national_treasure _

like something i should worry about later in life

_ new_mom_inbound _

as long as the other sonics behave and dont break anything, im sure a week should be fine

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

^^^ seconded

id like to talk with interdimensional officer you too

is interdimensional officer something you’d like to do?

_ new_mom_inbound _

Tom

that’s a few years off

sonic vacation first, planning out our sonic’s law enforcement career later

_ national_treasure _

thank you, pretzel lady

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Just something to think about

:D

_ national_treasure _

please never emoji again

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

:D

_ new_mom_inbound _

:D

_ national_treasure _

im going to let the other sonics that vaca is ok, ok byeeeeeeeeeeeee

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

ah, embarassing our son like good parents

_ new_mom_inbound _

we r so good at this parenting thing, lol

**_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ national_treasure _

VACA IS A GO

I REPEAT

VACA IS A GO

_...but i can say fuck _

we r heading there rn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point i dont think too many things are going to be too surprising to the Wachowski family...


	13. please let me holiday im sorry

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Ok, so Sonic(s)

_...but i can say fuck _

WOOP WOOP THATS THE SOUND OF THE POLICE

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

what’s with the username?

**...but i can say fuck** changed their username to  **please let me holiday im sorry**

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

thank you

Now while you’re all runninng here, we have some ground rules.

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

oof

_ spacecop _

👀

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

please continue

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Thank you

#1: Dinner’s at 6 pm but you all have to be back at the house by 9pm

_ national_treasure _

most of these guys are 15 or 16, like older than me, donut lord

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Revised: be back by 9:30pm

_ cause im baby and classic _

fair

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

#2: No noise past 10pm unless it’s on weekly movie night (Friday)

_ everyone likes the original better _

also fair

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

#3: I feel like this goes without saying but I’ll say it anyways, don’t break any laws.

#4: Don’t go outside Green Hills town limits

#5: Don’t talk to non-Green Hills government personnel

_ everyone likes the original better _

basically, dont break the law, dont talk to people who could disect us, and pay attention to the time?

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

basically, yeah

And also, in case of an emergency, cop Sonic is in charge

_ spacecop _

Thank you

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

oof

_ new_mom_inbound _

@ **everyone**

Does anyone want anything while im at the store?

Im buying for the week

  
  


_ cause im baby and classic _

omg ilu

Chili dogs? plz

_ everyone likes the original better _

^^^^ x2 

also plz

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

rice pudding and pears

_ spacecop _

Fruits and vegetables because I know no one else is going to ask for a balanced diet, please. Also, I’m a vegetarian, so can I have some tofu? With soy sauce please?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

nachos

_ national_treasure _

can i third the chilidogs plz

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

can we do a pork roast one night? and a surf and turf night?

_ new_mom_inbound _

Yes to all of the above!

@ **spacecop** do you need anything extra for the tofu?

_ spacecop _

No, thank you. I can prepare it too, you have enough on your plate cooking for 5 other Sonics.

_ new_mom_inbound _

Thank you! 

If anyone wants to join me, I’m doing yoga tomorrow morning.

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i may or may not be interested in taking you up on that offer, pretzel lady

_ new_mom_inbound _

:D

Also, im grabbing more blankets while im here so everyone has one or two for tonight

_ everyone likes the original better _

omg ilu

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

i cant believe we’ve reached the day i agree with blu prime but here we r

_ new_mom_inbound _

awwwww

Ilu 2!

**cause im baby and classic** sent a  [ .jpeg ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/326591485/large.jpg)


	14. SHIT IN THAT SHOE

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

WHO LEFT THE FAUCET ON

_ spacecop _

WHO DID IT

_ new_mom_inbound _

What??? It there water damage? was in on long?

_ national_treasure _

i dont think so

_ new_mom_inbound _

!!!

you left it on?!

_ national_treasure _

omg no!!!!

I just think i know what might have happened

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

who did it???

_ national_treasure _

oh no mr. cop man

if theres anything @ **please let me holiday im sorry** and @ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** taught me, its that stitches get snitches

Or somethng like that

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

but wh

i see what you did there

@ **please let me holiday im sorry** @ **but the internet likes the opposite the best**

what did you doooooooo

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

this is a classic ‘bad things happening with good intentions’

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

literally how tho

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

we were fighting over toothpaste and forgot the water was on

_ spacecop  _

There are literally seven tubes of paste in there, why would you fight over them?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

flavour

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

flavor

_ cause im baby and classic _

omg 

we are all faster than sound, one of you couldntve run to the store and grabbed one

or just waited your turn???

it soaked ALL OF MY SOCKS

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

lmao its fine

_ cause im baby and classic _

hel hath no fury like me scorned, fleet

i will find you and i will shit in your left shoe

_ everyone likes the original better _

language

but also, GET HIM BB

SHIT IN THAT SHOE

i cant believe i just really typed that out and sent that out woooooooow

_ spacecop _

I can’t believe that either. Wow.

Anyways, no one is defacating in anyone’s shoes, I’m going to find them and have them clean up their mess. There is, very fortunately, no water damage.

_ cause im baby and classic _

youll have to find them before i do 

_ spacecop _

I’ve been issued a challenge. I must accept.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

what

_ new_mom_inbound _

why

_ spacecop _

Because I am a Sonic.

Challenge accepted, everyone run.

_ everyone likes the original better _

oh, we’r all being hunted??? great

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

omg its not even 9am 


	15. hug magnet

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

so i dont mean to interrupt whatever sonic hunt there seems to be going on

but 2 things

one, lunch is ready, its corndogs

two, crazy carl has seemed to have joined the hunt

_ national_treasure _

yay!

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

one, thank maddie for me, given that we all kno u cant cook for sh*t

two, who crazy carl

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

one, will do and also thank you for censoring yourself

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

of course

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

two, he’s the only guy who saw our sonic and tried to catch him for ten years

it didnt work

_ cause im baby and classic _

hol up

_ everyone likes the original better _

*10 years*???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

like….u were alone for 10 years???

_ national_treasure _

i watched people for all that so its not that bad

_ cause im baby and classic _

im suspending the hunt

for hugs and corndogs

_ everyone likes the original better _

already hugging

its hard to type behind someones back, lol

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

omw

_ spacecop _

Ditto

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

^^^

_ sheriffwachowshi3.0 _

please make sure carl doesn’t follow you to my house

also, me and maddie did this too, when we found out it was ten years

the kid’s a hug magnet

_ new_mom_inbound _

waiting to get that adorable picture...


	16. IVE NEVER BEEN MORE TERRIFIED OF CLASSIC OR FLAMINGOS BUT HERE WE ARE

_ spacecop _

I’m not mad…

I just want to know who did it.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Who did what???

_ spacecop _

I’m trying to find out who stole crazy carl’s plastic flamingo.

_ new_mom_inbound _

which one? He has at least five on his truck alone

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

… 

You know who did it

_ new_mom_inbound _

yes

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

so…?

_ new_mom_inbound _

sorry babe

Sworn to secrecy

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

IM NOT SWORN

IT WAS CLASSIC

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

what?

him??

why???

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

HES ATTEMPTING TO SKEWER US WITH THE FLAMINGO LEGS

IVE NEVER BEEN MORE TERRIFIED OF CLASSIC OR FLAMINGOS BUT HERE WE ARE

_ cause im baby and classic _

IT WOULDNT BE AN ATTEMPT IF YOU WOULD STOP RUNNING SO I COULD JUST DO IT

_ spacecop _

NO STABBING

_ everyone likes the original better _

omw to save their as

Butts, saving their butts, im not cursing

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

ew

I dont want your help

_ everyone likes the original better _

lmao ok

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

IGNORE HIM, I WANT HEPLP

PLLZZZZZ

_ everyone likes the original better _

ill help u

and no one else

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

omg thank u

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Wait no plz

we just had such a nice, huggable, moment

ive been abandoned

_ cause im baby and classic _

YOU MADE YOUR WET SOAPY SOCK BED NOW YOU GET TO LIE IN IT

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

SCREW YOU

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

omg, the first day of yall here isnt even over


	17. thats gay

**_please let me holiday im sorry_ ** direct message to  **_new_mom_inbound_ **

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

hey  can we yoga tomorrow morning?

_ new_mom_inbound _

yes we can!

do you want to focus on flexibility or breathing?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

ive literally never done yoga b4 so idk

_ new_mom_inbound _

maybe flexibility, since it might help you fight

scourge might want to watch

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

…

_ new_mom_inbound _

watch you, specifically

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

thats gay

_ new_mom_inbound _

yes, you are

and so is scourge

and yall got the most obvious crushes with each other

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

mayhaps

so basically u want to help me flirt w/ scourge by getting him to watch me do yoga

_ new_mom_inbound _

bingo

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

brilliant

_ new_mom_inbound _

and i have some really good shampoo and conditioner for quills that you can use in the shower tonight

to look fierce foryoga tomorw

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

thx mum!

_ new_mom_inbound _

<3!!!


	18. wait, who’s knuckles???

_ new_mom_inbound _

@ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** wanna yoga with us?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Not particularly, y?

_ new_mom_inbound _

how about just joining us in the yard?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

...y?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

do you have anything better to do

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

fair, be there in a tic

_ national_treasure _

cool now that that’s figured out

I have questions for me and other versions of me and parental figures because im confusing myself

_ spacecop _

Are you ok, kiddo?

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Is this a “curious” question or a “philosophical and requires a blanket and several grams of chocolate and hugs” question?

_ national_treasure _

both??? probably closer to the second option??

_ everyone likes the original better _

Want me to head over for hug times?

_ national_treasure _

no no no its ok

im just

_ spacecop _

Take your time, we’re here whenever you’re ready.

_ national_treasure _

ok so last month before school shut down a couple of my classmates and i were talking about who we had crushes on

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Were they being inappropriate? they kept their hands to themselves right?

_ national_treasure _

they were totally appropriate

except they all said like sophia and michelle and angela

and i said that i thought kenny and maya were cute and i didnt know which one i liked more

And they were confused and i was confused that they were confused and then i realized that a lot of guys only have crushes on girls and basically im cofused if its possible for guys to have crushes on girls and guys

_ spacecop _

thats completely normal and ok

It’s called being bisexual, and it doesn’t have to be a set term. You can still experiment with what you’re comfortable with and what fits your feelings.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

And we love you no matter what, so don’t be afraid to talk to us about what you’re feeling.

_ cause im baby and classic _

and its something all versions of us go through too, so youre not alone with this

_ national_treasure _

omg thx u guyssssss

my heart is burst

so whats up with everyone if we all go through it?

_ cause im baby and classic _

idk, im questioning

_ spacecop _

I’m asexual/aromantic.

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i dont really care about whats in my partner’s pants just as long as theyre a person i like

  
  


_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

^^^ same

also, they/them and he/him pronouns work for me

_ everyone likes the original better _

im also questioning but i def know im not straight

like, i dated sally but b4 that i had a crush on knuckles? i think????

idk, it was a long time ago but i might have a crush on him now?? idk, i dont know things

i also use they and him pronouns

_ national_treasure _

Ok, cool

Thank you

wait, who’s knuckles???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

prime, you got a crush on big red???

_ everyone likes the original better _

and you and fleet have crushes on each other, dont come for me rn

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

lmao fair

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

u admit it?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

duh? Ive literally never attempted to hide it

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

…

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

👀

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

…

wanna get donuts with me?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

just after you finish doing that downward dog thng ur doing rn

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

Lmao ok

_ new_mom_inbound _

as much as i am so happy to see this happening, please movie anything pg-13 + to not the family-friendly gc

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

fair, see yall later


	19. Im pretty sure hes sighing in his sleep now

**_stressed depressed princess_ ** direct message to  **_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ **

_ stressed depressed princess _

So we both know Sonic has a crush on Knuckles

They’re both pretty obvious

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best  _

who r u and how do u know who i am

_ stressed depressed princess _

look at my username and realize im the one who punched ur ex in the gut

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Ok but why are you messaging me

_ stressed depressed princess _

Sonic had a crush on Knuckles

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Ok? And?

_ stressed depressed princess _

Knuckles has a crush on Sonic

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

u tryin to play matchmaker?

cupid???

U?????

_ stressed depressed princess _

Thats literally exactly it tho

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

omg

_ stressed depressed princess _

Listen

At the end of your vacation i need you to cause some mishchief so i have a reason to send knuckles to the zone you guys are in.

_ but the internet likes the internet the best _

i cn literally do that now tho

_ stressed depressed princess _

Wont you get kicked out?

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

not if i show maddie this chat

_ stressed depressed princess _

fair

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

y u helping ur ex get with a guy tho

_ stressed depressed princess _

me being his ex doesnt mean im not his friend

and also Knuckles is doing that forlorn sigh and has been since Sonic left for vaca and its getting annoying

Im pretty sure hes sighing in his sleep now

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

lmao ok, im on it

_ stressed depressed princess _

nice


	20. why a school, idk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knuckles - i have a plan, attack

**Freedom Fighters Official Groupchat**

_everyone likes the original better_

yeah so scourge is messing shtuff up over here and the other mes are eating lunch, can i get a hand with this

**_stressed depressed princess_ ** added **_i have a plan, attack_ **

_i have a plan, attack_

sup

_everyone likes the original better_

omg

_stressed depressed princess_

hey knux, most of the ff are busy, can u head to the zone sonic is in to assist?

_i have a plan, attack_

Oh yeah sure

Just, whats happening

_everyone likes the original better_

hes at the school and trashing it, i think

thankfully no one’s in the school for *reasons*

but property damage

Also kids have been sneaking back into school in order to get stuff they left in the building so people might be in there with him

why a school, idk

_i have a plan, attack_

oh right

try to keep him busy, ill be there in a tic

_everyone likes the original better_

right cool

_stressed depressed princess_

:D

_everyone likes the original better_

Whats that for

_stressed depressed princess_

nothing


	21. IT LOOKS LIKE WE 69ING IN A LOCKER

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ created a groupchat _

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_i have a plan, attack_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ changed the group name to  _ **_where are you, you lil shit_ **

_ i have a plan, attack _

oh shit

_ everyone likes the original better _

It was supposed to be a vacation, scourge

y tf are you fucking this up dude

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

holy shit u cursed

Listen, im just having fun but if u come after me, im fuckin u up dude

_ i have a plan, attack _

no tf ur not

we r giving u one chance to get out of the school

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

lol nope

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

_ i have a plan, attack _

…

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

…

_ everyone likes the original better _

SCOURGE GET BACK HERE AND UNLOCK THIS LOCKER RN!!!

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

lol why would i

_ everyone likes the original better _

WE CANT GET OUT ITS SMOL AND MY FACE IS IN HIS CROTCH

IT LOOKS LIKE WE 69ING IN A LOCKER AND NEITHER OF US HAS ENOUGH ROOM TO BREAK OUT

HE CANT REACH HIS PHONE EITHER

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

u should be used to that position with him tho, so its fine

_ everyone likes the original better _

i swear to god, if you planned this 

  
  


**_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ ** _ left  _ **_where are you, you lil shit_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

oh my god i hate u


	22. Happy Mothers' Day!

Scourge kicked off his boots carefully, a change in his usual behaviour. His quiet steps were unheard by anyone other than Ozzie, despite seven other people being present in the house. He raced up to the attic with plastic bags hanging on his arms.

Sonic Wachowski was the first to greet him when Scourge closed the door behind him. “Scourge!” Wachowski greeted with a smile. “Did you get the stuff? Also, what stuff is needed for this sort of thing?”

“I got the sh--stuff.” Scourge corrected himself when Zonic and Classic gave him a glare. “I got a cake and flowers and confetti poppers.”

“I call the big popper!” Fleet finally rose from his lazy position on Wachowski’s bed. “I’m going to pop it in Tom’s face.”   
  


Zonic glared sharply at the slightly taller hedgehog. “Please, for the love of chaos, don’t blind the man. 

Fleet rounded on Scourge, hugging him from behind despite green’s grumblings. “I make no promises.”

“And where’s Sonic Prime? Shouldn’t he be here for this?” Zonic asked, pointedly ignoring Fleet’s statement. “Scourge, weren’t you the last to see him.”

Scourge fought to hide a smirk. “Yeah, I saw him right before I picked this up. He’s a bit  _ locked up _ at the moment with one of Sally’s plans. He sends his regards.” At Zonic’s suspicious glance, Scourge bristled. “Hey, everything I said is true, ok?!”

Zonic let it go, but Scourge could feel Fleet smirk behind his ear. “ ‘ _ Locked up _ ’, huh?” He whispered into his boyfriend’s ear. “What a funny choice of words.”

“Hush you.” Scourge whispered back, lightly elbowing Fleet’s stomach. “Can we just set this shit up? I’m hungry.”

Classic Sonic signed quickly.  _ Already did, slowpoke! _ Just as he stated, Wachowski and Classic had set up the cake and even some plates and utensils. The flowers were put in vases and near everything had been cleaned. 

“Huh. That’s fine.” Scourge answered numbly. “Tom! Maddie!” He called. “We need some help up here!”

They waited as foot-steps approached, slower than any of their own footfalls. The door burst open with a very worried Tom calling. “Is anyone hurt?”

The humans’ eyes widened at the sight. “Happy Mothers’ Day!” The Sonics, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, called out to Maddie, Wachowski going up to hug her. 

Maddie burst into tears, startling the others. “Mads?” Tom asked. “Are you ok? Get poked with a quill?”

Maddie smiled through her tears at her husband. “I’m a mom!”

"Oh, happy tears!" Tom laughed. "Well, new mom, you've been presented a cake and if you don't get at it, I will."

"Oh no, sheriff. It's mine!" Maddie replied, laughing all the while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write something for everyone's favourite Sonic-mom!


	23. One Big Author's Note POTENTIAL DISCORD SERVER

Hey all! Author here!

So I've been joining a lot of Sonic fanworks discord servers and I've been wondering: would people want a server for this fic? I really want to be more interactive with the people reading this fic and thought this might be a cool way to do so. 

If so, what type of chats would y'all want?

If this is something people are interested in/join, people on the server will get access to a new chapter before it's posted!

If this is something y'all are interested in, let me know in the comments! Also, I have a new Tumblr, [sonicheadcannons](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/sonicheadcannons/blog/sonicheadcannons) so come check me out!


	24. niceeeeeeeeeEERGUALGIERUGGGGGGGGG

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** direct message to  **_stressed depressed princess_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

so your plan worked

_ stressed depressed princess _

plan???

what plan?????

_ everyone likes the original better _

Knuckles wants you to know that i, your ex, just bottomed.

And I will again soon if we’re stuck here for much longer.

So you better get us out of this locker.

;D

_ stressed depressed princess _

…

Ill send scourge to get yall out

_ everyone likes the original better _

thanks, sal

**_stressed depressed princess_ ** direct message to  **_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ **

_ stressed depressed princess _

hey it worked

might want to bring a towel for them tho

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

LMAOOOOO

ill get them, lol

**_but the internet likes the opposite the best_ ** direct message to  **_everyone likes the original better_ **

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

hey, im coming to unlock you and red

bringing a towel

_ everyone likes the original better _

niceeeeeeeeeEERGUALGIERUGGGGGGGGG

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

???

U good?

_ everyone likes the original better _

giv us ½ hou r 

and 2 twl

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

lmao have fun dude

_ everyone likes the original better _

thX

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

hey so prime and his bf knuckles are comin back to the house in like half an hour

should i put their plates in the microwave?

_ new_mom_inbound _

Sure! Make sure its covered too so the food doesnt dry out

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

His bf????? ;D

_ national_treasure _

I forgot his name

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Knuckles the Echidna

_ national_treasure _

oh

oof

_ new_mom_inbound _

what’s wrong???

_ national_treasure _

my version of his dad killed my mom

_ new_mom_inbound _

Are you going to be ok?

_ national_treasure _

yeah, its not his fault

its just going to be super awkward

I think

_ new_mom_inbound _

you can always come to me and tom if youre uncomfortable

_ national_treasure _

Thx mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still thinking about making a discord server, lmk if yall are interested


	25. i promise you, none of you will be able to stab me

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_i have a plan, attack_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

hey @ **new_mom_inbound** & @ **sheriffwachowski3.0** i just added my bf, can he stay for the rest of vacation?

_ new_mom_inbound _

dm me

_ everyone likes the original better _

Ok

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** direct message to  **_new_mom_inbound_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

whats up?

_ new_mom_inbound _

so i know u werent in the chat to know this but our universe’s version of your bf’s father basically murdered our version of you’s mother 

_ everyone likes the original better _

dude

Do you want him to leave? I caould tell him to leave

_ new_mom_inbound _

no, my sonic said he’d be ok

but, you know

_ everyone likes the original better _

keep an eye on them?

_ new_mom_inbound _

keep on eye on them

make sure my sonic is getting small bites of knuckles

figuratively

_ everyone likes the original better _

yeah

me and knuckles can set up in the livingroom so wachowski can get his space at night

_ new_mom_inbound _

Thank you!

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

knuckles has joined the battle

_ i have a plan, attack _

oh is vacation a battle now

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

lmao yup

_ spacecop _

Absolutely

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

do i have to make it more obvious for you

_ cause im baby and classic _

i almost stabbed people

_ national_treasure _

stabbing people is still very much an option

_ i have a plan, attack _

i promise you, none of you will be able to stab me

_ everyone likes the original better _

that sounds likes a challenge babe

_ i have a plan, attack _

:O

babe

my blueberry

my chaotic azurite

_ everyone likes the original better _

listen

you know me 

i know it

youve issued a challenge to a groupchat full of sonics

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

no one is stabbing anyone, challenge be damned

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

*gasp*

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

???

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

you said damn

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

in front of the children!

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

omg

_ spacecop _

@ **please let me holiday im sorry** you literally had to change your username to make it PG, you shouldn’t be talking right now. @ **but the internet likes the opposite the best** don’t get me started on you

_ everyone likes the original better _

get em zonic!

_ spacecop _

Don’t.

Not a word, Prime.

_ everyone likes the original better _

???

_ spacecop _

I know what you did in the locker, Prime.

For shame.

_ everyone likes the original better _

:O


	26. AUTHOR'S NOTE AGAIN

Hey so remember that chapter about making a discord server?

Well, I think I'm altering the idea: I want to make a discord server for Sonic fan-creators (writers, artists, comic creators, mood board editors, etc). Prompts will be posted in different channels geared towards different mediums.

I will edit this chapter with the link once the server is created.

[Here it is!](https://discord.gg/YjhqZ5K)


	27. Tragic Backstory ™

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ national_treasure _

hey @ **i have a plan, attack**

_ i have a plan, attack _

yeah?

_ everyone likes the original better _

👀

_ new_mom_inbound _

👀

_ national_treasure _

want to go grab some donuts?

_ i have a plan, attack _

sure

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** direct message to  **_new_mom_inbound_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

i have a plan

_ new_mom_inbound _

DO IT

**_everyone likes the original better_** direct message to **_spacecop_**

_ everyone likes the original better _

i have a mission for you

_ spacecop _

Follow the donut boys?

_ everyone likes the original better _

follow the donut bois

  
  


**_spacecop_** direct message to **_sheriffwachowski3.0_**

_ spacecop _

Are you at the crosswalk near the donut shop?

_ sherifwachowski3.0 _

Yeah, want me to pick something up for you?

_ spacecop _

Thank you, but no. Your Sonic and Knuckles are going to the donut shop together and given your son’s Tragic Backstory ™, it’s pertinent to keep an eye on them. 

I’ll be keeping an eye on them from the roofs, but I was hoping that you might be able to listen in on them?

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Space cop and small-town cop team-up? Count me in!

for real tho, thanks for keeping a look out for my boi

_ spacecop _

It’s no problem, Sheriff. 

Besides, I seem to be one of the few that hasn’t actually done anything risky on this vacation yet, so I might as well.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Fair

**_please let me holiday im sorry_** direct message to **_i have a plan, attack_**

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

I have only known Sonic Wachowski in person for three days but if anything happened to him, I would kill you and everyone you love and care about.

_ i have a plan, attack _

…

i wouldnt do anything to him???

and wouldnt that threat include my sonic?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

u assume I don’t already want to shoot him

just watch yourself around Wachowski

_ i have a plan, attack _

i just want to get donuts dude, wtf is happening???


	28. Sonic gets donuts with Knuckles

Wachowski found himself at the donut shop, waiting at one of the outside tables with a box of two dozen pastries. Knuckles should be arriving any minute. What kind of donut would an echidna like? The ones filled with jelly that looks like they’re bleeding when you bite into them? Would that even matter compared to the actual taste?

As if summoned by thought, the guardian arrived, looking around for the younger of the two. This was it. Time to talk to someone other than himself about his problems.

“Hi Knuckles!” Sonic greeted as the echidna finally spotted him. 

The older smiled at him. “Hi, bud!” The smile sort of shrank, but didn’t completely dissolve. “I’m going to be completely honest: as much as I appreciate the opportunity for donuts, this seems really out of the blue. I’ve been threatened over this. What’s up?”

Sonic took another bite out of the donut in his hand, nowhere near his usual speed. “You know how, even though we’re all Sonic, we all have really, really different backstories?” Knuckles nodded, waiting for the younger to continue in his own time. “Mine’s very different from your Sonic’s backstory: my mom got murdered and I had to stay hidden here for ten years before Tom and Maddie basically adopted me.”

“Oh.” Knuckles was shocked, not knowing how to respond and taking a bite of a chocolate donut. “That’s rough, buddy.”

“It’s even rougher because my mom was killed by your dad.” Sonic took a sip of his water, noticing a light spark from his quills. The echidna nearly choking on his own donut was pretty satisfying.

“Oh, dear chaos!” Knuckles’ eyes widened at Sonic. “I -- are you ok? Did -- are you telling me to leave? Because I can, if that’s what you want. It’s your universe --”

“You don’t have to leave.” Sonic interrupted the rambling good-naturedly. “I know it’s not your fault, it’s just awkward being around you. I’ll get used to it and it might actually help, I think.” Knuckles didn’t interrupt the child, not wanting to stop him from whatever venting he needed. “But the thing I do have a problem with is the possibility that anything could happen to the version of me that you’re dating.”

Knuckles huffed. “I won’t a thing happen to him. No one lays a finger on him.”

“Don’t say that. He’s a fighter and a hero, there’s no way you can say nothing’ll happen to him.” Sonic shot that down immediately, knowing how much the older version of him likes to fight. 

Sparks flew up again, this time noticed by Knuckles. “Woah, Sonic? Is that -- are you ok?”

“I’m fine. In fact, I’m pretty great.” Sonic gave his usual smirk, but there was something deeper in his eyes. “You know, Zonic said I might be the most powerful Sonic out there, with raw power and all. The electricity helps. What I’m trying to say is that don’t be surprised if I’m super duper awkward around you and if you hurt your Sonic, I’m going to hurt you, ok?”

Knuckles nodded reaching for another donut. “I won’t, but if I ever lose my marbles, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Cool cool cool!” Sonic replied, electricity dissipating. “So which flavour’s your favourite? I really like the glazed ones, they’re so moist and sugary! But Maddie and Tom don’t know how to get the glaze right so I have to use my allowance to get them and I want to save up for a Switch--”

_ Yeah _ , Knuckles thought, trying to pay the utmost attention to everything the kid said,  _ this kid’ll be just fine. _


	29. WAIT NO I CANT RUN IN THESE

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_please let me holiday im sorry_

hey so scourge found maddie’s clothes and we’re going to get boba tea

_cause im baby and classic_

ok?

_please let me holiday im sorry_

he’s just so beautiful

_everyone likes the original better_

whats this???

you being wholesome???

_please let me holiday_ sent a [.jpeg](https://sonicheadcannons.tumblr.com/post/619198982920503296/an-amazing-drawing-via-discord-request-done-by-the)

look at my beautiful s/o

_new_mom_inbound_

you look so good in my boots!

_but the internet likes the opposite better_

lmao thanks mom! I love this shirt btw

_new_mom_inbound_

<3

_everyone likes the original better_

nevermind the wholesomeness

all the stores are closed, how tf did you go shopping?

_but the internet likes the opposite the best_

lmao shopping?

_everyone likes the original better_

you have a shopping bag

_please let me holiday im sorry_

‘shopping’ implies that ther was an exchange of currency

‘shoplifting’, however…

_spacecop_

👀

_sheriffwachowski3.0_

👀

_everyone likes the original better_

👀

_cause im baby and classic_

👀

_national_treasure_

👀

_i have a plan, attack_

👀

_new_mom_inbound_

👀

_but the internet likes the internet the best_

LMAO 

we didnt steal, dont worry

it was one of the bags in the closet

we used it because we went applepicking b4 we got the boba tea

_please let me holiday im sorry_

no arresting necessary, lmao

_everyone likes the original better_

unfortunate

_but the internet likes the internet the best_

???

how

_everyone likes the original better_

im still gonna get you back for the Locker Incident ™ 

better know how to run in heals 

_i have a plan, attack_

WAIT FOR ME

_but the internet likes the opposite better_

WAIT NO I CANT RUN IN THESE

BABE, CARRY ME

_please let me holiday im sorry_

LMAO SURE

_sheriffwachowski3.0_

Please dont damage things

_national_treasure_

IM FOLLOWING THEM

_cause im baby and classic_

ME TOO

_spacecop_

I’m just going to enjoy my veggie-burger. Don’t break things or people.

* * *

The pic was done via discord request done by the amazing [@justbecrazywithit](https://justbecrazywithit.tumblr.com/)!!! Send them your love and praise!


	30. I didn’t even finish the bad news!

**_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ spacecop _

So I don’t mean to destroy the peace that is this vacation, but…

_ cause im baby and classic _

oh god why

_ everyone likes the original better _

*peace is a lie*

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

MY GOD ZONIC WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT THIS WAR UPON US

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

MY CHILD IS ON FIRE

_ national_treasure _

IM ON FIRE

_ spacecop _

I didn’t even finish the bad news!

_ everyone likes the original better _

there’s MORE??!11??

_ spacecop _

OMG, THERE’S AN ALIEN INVASION IN FLEETWAY’S ZONE, WE NEED TO STOP THEM

_ national_treasure _

ALIENS???

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

IN MY DIMENSION???

_ everyone likes the original better _

AGAIN???

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

Oh shit? Real shit?

_ cause im baby and classic _

im down for fighting alien invasions

any1 else

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i guess i gotta

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

i guess i gotta (via relationship)

_ everyone likes the original better _

i guess i gotta (via friendship)

_ national_treasure _

i guess I gotta (via i want to fight aliens)

_ spacecop _

i guess I gotta (via it’s my job)

_ national_treasure _

aight cool ill tell the parentals

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ national_treasure _

hey mom + dad

me and the other me’s have some other-dimension stuff to take care of, we’ll be back in a few!!

_ new_mom_inbound _

...sure???

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

...what about Knuckles?

is he going too?

_ i have a plan, attack _

they left already and im still here…

_ new_mom_inbound _

…

So

What’s your intention with Sonic?

_ i have a plan, attack _

dont worry, your son already gave me the shovel talk about it

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Yeah, with the lightning too

it was so cool

_ i have a plan, attack _

were you watching us

_ sheriffwachowshi3.0 _

no comment

_ new_mom_inbound _

THOMAS


	31. im just resting my everything

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

so we r on our way back

_ new_mom_inbound _

yay!

tom tried to make some indescribable food

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

i didnt mess up that bad on fruit salad

_ i have a plan, attack _

yes you did

_ new_mom_inbound _

did you guys have fun?

_ national_treasure _

OMG A MILLION TIMES YES

_ cause im baby and classy _

IT WAS SO mUCH FUN

_ but the internet likes the opposite the best _

i have to be carried back home by fleets

but otherwise, i had a blast

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

why do you have to be carried???

**_but the internet likes the opposite the best_** changed their name to **_ran in heels_**

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

why??

_ spacecop _

The invasion.

_ new_mom_inbound _

Invasion???

_ national_treasure _

i may have forgotten to mention that

Aliens were invading fleet’s zone so we had to defeat them

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

*THAT* WAS THE SONIC BUSINESS????

_ new_mom_inbound _

TOMS GOING WITH YOU IF SOMETHING HAPPENS LIKE THIS AGAIN

_ ran in heels _

why???

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

I have a gun

_ spacecop _

I do too and also our quills cut cut diamond.

_ new_mom_inbound _

YOU ARE ALL LITERAL CHILDREN

_ ran in heels _

Fair

_ spacecop _

Oh shit.

Sonic Prime just collapsed.

_ i have a plan, attack _

HE WHAT

_ everyone likes the original better _

i didnt *collapse*

im just resting my everything

_ i have a plan, attack _

im coming to carry you back

_ everyone likes the original better _

omg thank you love uuuu

_ i have a plan, attack _

R u ok tho???

_ everyone likes the original better _

honestly?

i got a giant metallic boot to the back

but otherwise im peachy

_ i have a plan, attack _

im bringing soft blanket

_ new_mom_inbound _

and when yall get back, im checking on @ **everyone likes the original better** and @ **ran in heels**

and no ifs ands or buts about it!

_ everyone likes the original better _

Yes maam

_ ran in heels _

yes maam

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

how is she so good at wrangling the bois?

_ spacecop _

When I grow up I want to be just like Maddie.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

:(

_ spacecop _

I’m already just like you, Thomas.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

lmao fair

And Maddie’s pretty awesome

_ new_mom_inbound _

damn right

babe, help me get blankets and ice packs set up in the living room

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

i could make them soup too

_ new_mom_inbound _

**YOU BETTER STAY AWAY FROM THE FOOD**


	32. no i want pickles on my pizza

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ everyone likes the original better _

So according to Maddie, one of my ribs in broken

_ i have a plan, attack _

WHAT

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

a couple are bruised too

_ i have a plan, attack _

im coming to the livingroom

and im going to cuddle you as gently as possible

_ everyone likes the original better _

please

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

wait how’s scourge tho

_ ran in heels _

sprained ankle

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

oof

need an ice pack?

_ ran in heels _

nah, i have one already

Im going to need you to carry me everywhere for the week tho

:D

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

your wish is my command, milady

_ ran in heels _

yOu BeTtEr StOp

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

lmao ok

Luv u

imma get you some pizza

_ ran in heels _

omg babe ilu

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

kisses

_ national_treasure _

this is so wholesome, wow

_ cause im baby and classic _

so cute i might puke

_ new_mom_inbound _

please don’t

also tom is already ordering pizza

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

I need everyone’s pizza order

_ spacecop _

Plain cheese, no meat-based sauce

_ national_treasure _

My usual

_ new_mom_inbound _

also my usual

_ cause im baby and classic _

can i also has cheese?

_ ran in heels _

Pepperoni

_ i have a plan, attack _

^x2

_ everyone likes the original better _

^x3

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

pickles

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

you want pickles instead of pizza?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

no i want pickles on my pizza

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

_ national_treasure _

…

_ ran in heels _

babe ilu but wtf

_ new_mom_inbound _

This is fine

I mean i wouldnt put that in my mouth for the universe

but different strokes for different folks ig

This is fine

_ national_treasure _

Mom, ilu, but this is not fine

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

WELL ITS A GOOD THING NONE OF YOU ARE EATING MY PICKLE PIZZA

PUT THE ORDER IN, POPS

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Pardon?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

please place the order, father

???

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

better

Ill have to call instead of do it online because of the ...unique toping choice

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

Thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the discord for the pizza topping idea! Luv yall!!!


	33. Happy Pride Month

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ ran in heels _

It’s midnight

You know what that means!!!

its started and you cant stop it

_ spacecop _

What

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

babe why must you wake me

_ i have a plan, attack _

Yall are gonna wake my sonic, stfu

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Do i need to stop something

_ ran in heels _

its pride month :D

_ please let me holiday _

and itll be pride month in the morning too bb, let us sleep

_ i have a plan, attack _

HE WOKE MY BF, STAHP

_ new_mom_inbound _

AND MY SON

THE ONE FROM THIS UNIVERSE, I MEAN

YOURE ALL MY CHILDREN, BUT HE WOKE THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY LIVES WITH ME IS WHAT I MEAN

*DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET A 13 Y/O WITH SUPERSPEED TO SLEEP AFTER HE’S HAD THREE ICE CREAM CONES

DO YOU?

_ ran in heels _

oh no, mom’s angery

going back to sleep now

Happy pride month!!

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Happy pride

but please sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to stay safe out there during pride!


	34. I gave myself therapy

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ cause im baby and classic _

so

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

???

_ i have a plan, attack _

so???

_ everyone likes the original better _

u good bb?

_ cause im baby and classic _

i may have ran into pricklies

_ national_treausre _

oof

i can grab dad’s gloves and get you out of there

_ cause im baby and classic _

plz

_ new_mom_inbound _

come see me afterwards, im going to make sure your skin isnt irritated

_ ran in heels _

lol, he gon have weird cream in his fur

_ new_mom_inbound _

what? 

no!

i have a lavender bath thing that helps me whenever me or tom get stuck with pricklies

Im just gonna give him a lavender bath

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

Lol, scourge, u thot u got himmmmmmm

_ ran in heels _

Like how you thought u got prime but nearly got shot in te face by his robodad?

_ new_mom_inbound _

wait what

_ everyone likes the original better _

yeah, eggman roboticized my parents but we cant undo it because he had injuries when he was roboticized

_ new_mom_inbound _

i dont know half of those words and what they mean in that context, but everything sounds bad

_ ran in heels _

basically robotnik took over his planet after a coup and everyone he took over, he turned into robots

They figured out how to turn people back but sonic’s folks were soldiers so his old man got dead injured so he cant undo to gears

but he has free will now, so thats good for him

_ new_mom_inbound _

omg

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

prime’s been leading the planet’s only resistance since he was five

classic is the same deal, except he’s younger than prime

_ new_mom_inbound _

i-- you guys --

_ everyone likes the original better _

oh thats nothing compared to knux

_ i have a plan, attack _

Idk, i think our Tragic Backstories ™ are pretty on-par

_ new_mom_inbound _

...whats ur backstory?

_ i have a plan, attack _

my dad basically tried to make me the greatest soldier Angel Island’s ever seen and when I got possessed by a chaos god, he wanted to destroy me

ended up destroying himself anyway, so i guess i lucked out

_ new_mom_inbound _

how is that lucking out???

_ everyone likes the original better _

fleet’s is bad too!

_ new_mom_inbound _

Oh god

_ ran in heels _

basically he has so much depression and anxiety and a guilt complex bigger than the center of the universe and also a chaos demon was created out of saaid mental issues

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

yeah lol, and whenever im exposed to chaos energy i get possessed by the demon

there’s a lot of possession here, lol

At one point i was possessed and thought i killed all of my friends and basically ran away for a month before they found me

all while at the same time, i still have to fight robotnik

_ new_mom_inbound _

please tell me thats all of it

_ spacecop _

i have to shoot at multiversal primordial gods of destruction with a peashooter

*this boy can fit so much ptsd*

also scourge was neglected by his parents, lives on a planet that’s society embraces evil, and was involved with/was witness to the death of his father

_ ran in heels _

:D

_ new_mom_inbound _

And i already know my Sonic’s backstory…

have any of you been to therapy???

_ cause im baby and classic _

no

_ everyone likes the original better _

lol, no

_ ran in heels _

there was that one group thing in jail

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i did for like a month but then i got trapped in space

_ national_treasure _

I gave myself therapy

_ spacecop _

If i did, Zobotnik would take me off of active duty, even though I’m the most effective officer under his command at the moment.

_ i have a plan, attack _

also no

_ new_mom_inbound _

...when classic and lightning bolt get back, we are all hugging in the livingroom and when Tom gets back, we are unpacking all of this, ok?

Mental health is important here, guys

I want you all to find a therapist once vacation is done and I want you all to pay attention to your mental heath.

I need you all to promise me that right now.

_ everyone likes the original better _

Promise, ma!

_ spacecop _

That was so impassioned I can’t say no.

_ i have a plan, attack _

I promise, I will find someone who can help with these daddy issues

_ cause im baby and classic _

I also promise I will also do that thing

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i still have the number of that one therapist

i’ll give her a call

_ national_treasure _

i can ask Dr. jones if i can make an appointment

_ ran in heels _

i didnt like the group thing

_ new_mom_inbound _

...you can talk to me if you want?

_ ran in heels _

yes please

_ new_mom_inbound _

Thank you guys!

I love you all, please take care of yourselves!

Also, who wants to help me bake a cake?

_ everyone likes the original better _

i want to but my ribbbbbbbbbbbsssssssss

_ i have a plan, attack _

lmao, ill carry you to a chair and you can watch me try and fail to help bake a cake

_ everyone likes the original better _

omg thnk u bb!!!

_ national_treasure _

stop being cute and get into the kitchen!!!

_ i have a plan, attack _

Lmao, ok

Part of thats impossible tho, sonic cant stop being cute

Its impossible

_ everyone likes the original better _

Omg bb

_ ran in heels _

JUST GET IN HERE

_ i have a plan, attack _

damn, ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Especially now in these really messed up times where everyone is dealing with isolation and police brutality and injustice, it's important that everyone is maintaining their mental health.
> 
> Therapy isn't for everyone, but if it's for you, don't be afraid to reach out!
> 
> Here's a site with hotline numbers for around the world with numbers/information for depression, anxiety, etc.: https://checkpointorg.com/global/


	35. why must i be here? alive?

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

hey so...anyone else realize that vaca ends in like two days???

_ ran in heels _

STAHP THAT

STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

NO

DONT SAY THAT

_ cause im baby and classic _

and we’re running out of ideas on what to do here

_ new_mom_inbound _

Nooooooo

_ cause im baby and classic _

ive already attempted to murder people

weve all decided to get therapy

_ national_treasure _

i started questioning my ideas of what relationship i might like when i get older

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

i got a boyfriend

_ i have a plan, attack _

so did i!!!

_ spacecop _

There is a way to help the author figure out what to do next though.

_ new_mom_inbound _

author???

_ everyone likes the original better _

What?

_ spacecop _

The readers could fill  [ this form ](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfhBAXwyVOzgKPbL6o6MsoAbvwJwNaRi5BHpS23Tjbi2AMyOg/viewform?usp=sf_link) that can not only give them the power to determine where we go next and give them a little insight into what’s happening wherever we go.

_ cause im baby and classic _

what readers?!?!?!?!

_ spacecop _

The Illuminati

_ ran in heels _

Omg did you seriously just meme????

_ spacecop _

We’ll find out in our next adventure.

_ i have a plan, attack _

right

well

i may have broken things

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

what things???

_ i have a plan, attack _

a chair

...and a table

and the floor

_ new_mom_inbound _

HOW?!

_ everyone likes the original better _

yall are gonna laugh

_ i have a plan, attack _

Plz no

_ new_mom_inbound _

plz let me laugh about this

_ everyone likes the original better _

he saw a spider

_ i have a plan, attack _

well you were once startled by a goldfish!

_ everyone likes the original better _

you bought girl scout cookies that you dont like just so cream could win a patch!

_ ran in heels _

this is going to be great

_ spacecop _

Don’t interrupt, I want to see where this goes.

_ i have a plan, attack _

yeah well, youre the one who forgot what soda was called and asked a waitress for ‘air water’

_ everyone likes the original better _

you literally turn pink when you go super

_ i have a plan, attack _

you confessed ur love to me months ago!

and i look great in pink!

_ everyone likes the original better _

Joke’s on you!

i was drugged and unable to lie and you were still oblivious to the fact that i love you when i did!

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

LMAOOOOOO

_ national_treasure _

u were drugged?

_ everyone likes the original better _

kidnapping thing

knuckles saved me

_ i have a plan, attack _

which must have been a bit embarassing for you

_ everyone likes the original better _

DAMN IT

WHAT ABOUT THAT TIME

YOU

_ i have a plan, attack _

i what? ;D

_ everyone likes the original better _

YOU

DAMNIT

you win

_ i have a plan, attack _

Luv u!

_ everyone likes the original better _

yup

...luv you too

_ national_treasure _

Wholesome

hey, what if we invited that other guy here?

_ ran in heels _

other guy?

_ national_treasure _

*the other guy*

@ **everyone likes the original better**

_ everyone likes the original better _

oh the duuuuuuuuude

_ national_treasure _

The duuuuuuuuuuude

_ i have a plan, attack _

whats happening

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ added  _ **_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_ **

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

why must i be here? alive?

_ everyone likes the original better  _

The duuuuuuuuude

_ national_treasure _

he’s here!!!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Is that the lightning child?

_ national_treasure _

thats me!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

Ive only been on a groupchat with this child for half a minute 

but if anything ever happened to him, i would destroy all of you and then myself

_ everyone likes the original better  _

yeah, thats generally how it goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, the form is real


	36. Author's Note: Q+A

Hey all! So I’m going to be taking it a bit slow with updating my current works as I’ve dislocated my shoulder and typing is super awkward right now. 

Generally, I’m fine and I’m going to be getting as much done as I can, so please don’t worry! In the meantime, if any of you have questions regarding the fic, please send them over via comments and I’ll answer them the best I can!

Have a great day y’all!


	37. Thank you, universal hedgehog father and mother AND THE RESULTS ARE IN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK, BABY! MY ARM IS OUT OF THE SLING AND CHAPTERS ARE ON THE WAY!!!

**_Sonicx6 Vaca_ **

_ spacecop _

So…

_ ran in heels _

this is it?

_ everyone likes the original better _

the vaca is done?

_ i have a plan, attack _

its been at least a week. maybe two at this point i think its time to get back to work

_ spacecop _

GOOD THING WE DONT HAVE TO GO BACK HOME TO DO THAT

_ sheriffwaschowski3.0 _

capslock?

_ new_mom_inbound _

what do you mean?

_ spacecop _

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, SONIC(S) HAVE BEEN UNIVERSAL GUARDIANS

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SOMEWHERE WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF MULTIVERSAL LAW, THE TITLE MEANS WE CAN GO FREELY BETWEEN ZONES MOSTLY

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

WE GOING AROUND THE MULTIVERSE?!?!?!!!!111/?!!?!?!?!??

_ national_treasure _

@MOM @DAD CAN I GO PLZ!!!

_ new_mom_inbound _

well...

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I will protect him with my life and if anything so much as threatens a quill on his head, they will be destroyed immediately and without restraint.

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

well…..

_ spacecop _

I WILL LET YOU DRIVE MY SPACECRUISER

I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN CAPSLOCK OFF

_ cause im baby and classic _

lmaoooooo

_ i have a plan, attack _

And I will also protect the bean!

_ ran in heels _

Im pretty sure stripes was speaking for all of us red, but go off

_ i have a plan, attack _

I shall indeed go off

THE BEAN WILL BE PROTECTED

BOTH THE BEAN WILL BE THE PROTECCD

_ cause im baby and classic _

Im finally included

_ everyone likes the original better _

Yes bb! We love you too!!!

_ cause im baby and classic _

finally, some respect on my name

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

For now

_ cause im baby and classic _

*nani?!*

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

omae wa mou shindeiru

_ everyone likes the original better _

NANI?!

_ ran in heels _

NANI

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Ok ok! our boi can go with you, but not before you guys get your backpacks

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

we didn’t bring backpacks

_ new_mom_inbound _

we’re packing some for you, silly!

They have blankets and water bottles and some snacks!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Lmao, theyre children

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

we packed one for you too, tough guy

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

Thank you, universal hedgehog father and mother

_ new_mom_inbound _

you’re welcome, shads!

_ spacecop _

IM GETTING THE CRUISER READY SO WE’LL GO AFTER LUNCH

WE CAN PICK SHADOW UP FROM PRIME ZONE 

_ sheriffwachowski3.0 _

Im going to bring a cake for lunch

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Thats unhealthy

_ everyone likes the original better _

We’ll save a slice for you

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Much appreciated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the results for the survey are in with 76 responses! Thank you all to those who completed it!
> 
> "Stay with the Wachowski's or explore some other universes?"  
> 40 votes = Explore some other universes!  
> 36 votes = Stay with the Wachowski's!
> 
> "Who gets to use the chaos emeralds?"  
> 24 votes = Sonic Wachowski  
> 21 votes = Boom  
> 12 votes = Ozzie  
> 11 votes = Fleetway Sonic  
> 8 votes = Classic Sonic
> 
> If you want to see the results on a spreadsheet, you can do so here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1tjB-Ztkpbu5pGzH85b3n1n31-KAsJVdOEqjjA9lt0mk/edit?usp=sharing


	38. i will throw you into the maw of the beast

**_IHOP THE DIMENSIONS_ **

_ ran in heels _

so

_ cause im baby and classic _

WHERE WE GOIN NOW???!?!?!?

_ spacecop _

Mushroom world

_ everyone likes the original better _

oh

_ national_treasure _

damn

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

*cease the use of such language*

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

WATCH YOUR DAMN LANGUAGE, CHILD

_ national_treasure _

It's english

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Acceptable

_ ran in heels _

focus, people

mushroom world?

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

yeah, what’s up with that?

_ spacecop _

A space-dragon hopped there, we need to return it to its dimension.

Is there a problem with that?

_ everyone likes the original the best _

WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT

_ cause im baby and classic _

thats awesome!

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

TOTALLY

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

And dangerous!

_ national_treasure _

WE GET TO FIGHT GODZILLA?!?!?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

NO

_ spacecop _

Shadow’s right.

_ ran in heels _

aw

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Thank god

_ spacecop _

Godzilla is powered by nuclear radiation and can’t fly.

Our dragon is powered by a magical black hole and can fly.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Oh god

_ please let me holiday im sorry _

F*** YEAH

_ ran in heels _

u had us therein the first half, zon, ngl

_ cause im baby and classic _

THIS GOING TO BE SO COOL!!!

_ everyone likes the original better _

*WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THIS*

MUSHROOM WORLD WITH FLYING BLACKHOLE DRAGON

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

You can all die except for Wachowski

He is the only one cute enough for me to save

_ everyone likes the original better _

first of all, rude

second of all, we all know youll enjoy the fight too

_ ran in heels _

lol, he got you pegged, stripes

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

how’s your ankle

_ ran in heels _

i will throw you into the maw of the beast

_ spacecop _

Stop threatening each other and get in the ship.

Zonic needs a new leather jacket.

_ national_treasure _

ME TOO

_ cause im baby and classic _

YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH


	39. Happy Fathers' Day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fathers' Day y'all! If y'all like your dad(s), make sure to text them or something!
> 
> If you don't like your dad(s), understandable, get yourself some ice cream; you do you, beau!

Zonic dropped silently from a warp ring, which seemed to open from the ceiling. Maddie watched as the Sonics who had just left yesterday dropped down after him, equally as silently. Shadow dropped in last, huffing in what sounded like annoyance. He handed Zonic a duffle bag and held back as the others crept forward, leaving Shadow and Maddie alone in the hall. 

The hedgehog looked to his sides seriously, as if on a mission from that agency he told her about -- GUN? Was that what they’re called? He spotted her in his peripheral and whipped his head towards her so quickly that Maddie was really concerned for a second. 

Shadow looked like he wanted to say something, so Maddie waited for him to gather his thoughts with a smile and a curious raise of her eyebrows. “Um.” Shadow began when he realized the silence was getting awkward. “I can explain.”

Suddenly, Tom yelped from the other room in surprise. Shadow looked back to where the Sonics had disappeared and rushed towards Maddie, rushing her into one of the rooms of the hallway, not closing the door to the room. He looked back and mouthed a silent “I’m sorry.” He turned back as the Sonics arrived back into the hallway. Shadow boosted them up and into the warp ring, jumping up after them as the ring closed and Tom ran into the hall with an odd bundle in his arms. 

Maddie stepped out of the room she had been led into, catching her husband’s attention. “Hey, did you see the boys?” Tom asked her, breathing like he’d been running after the boys. 

Maddie shook her head and hugged her husband, making it a point to ask Shadow about what happened later. “No, I haven’t. Aren’t they off to save the multiverse?”

“Yeah, I just -- they dropped this off, I guess.” Tom held the bundle up, which Maddie could see was something wrapped in fabric. Tom unwrapped it, revealing a Green Hills Devils blue and green football. Tom made a pleased sound, even as Maddie took the fabric from his hand. She held it up and awed over it. It was a shirt that read “Ask Me About My Son(s) and I’ll Recite An Essay”.

It was so cute.

Tom looked at the shirt too, leaning into Maddie. “I love our boys.”

“So do I.” Maddie replied, throwing the shirt into Tom’s face playfully. “Happy Fathers’ Day!”


	40. u trust a child with the damn fourth chaos emerald but not anyone who’s used it before?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao, im sorry

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

So what did you learn?

_everyone likes the original better_

you like fighting dragons?

_ran in heels_

you heal really fucking quickly?

_please let me holiday im sorry_

u trust a child with the damn fourth chaos emerald but not anyone who’s used it before?

_cause im baby and classic_

that child isn’t me?

_spacecop_

That you “could’ve taken it on my own”, in your own words?

_i have a plan, attack_

that you can withstand the stomach acid of a blackhole dragon and also wachowski’s lightning is made out of chaos energy?

_national_treasure_

that my chaos lightning is apparently more powerful than a blackhole? and that i had to save you after you tried to save me?

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

**THat we should all be a little more careful**

you bastards

**_ran in heels_ ** _changed their nickname to_ **_allhailtheking_ **

**_please let me holiday im sorry_ ** _changed their nickname to_ **_god-save-the-queen_ **

_allhailtheking_

sorry, who got swallowed and puked out by a dragon?

_god-save-the-queen_

and had to be saved by the person he said he was protecting?

_everyone likes the original better_

and almost lost his shoe in the process

_spacecop_

Don’t be too mean to him. He had a rough day.

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Thank you

_spacecop_

Given that he was eaten whole, after all.

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

I hate you

_national_treasure_

The lightning stuff was cool tho, right?

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Yes, the lightning stuff was really cool. Thank you for saving me.

_cause im baby and classic_

awwww, shads has a heart!

_i have a plan, attack_

big brother shadow makes an appearance!

_everyone likes the original better_

hes such a big brother that he let cream dress him up

_national_treasure_

guys

_i have a plan, attack_

It was vanilla’s clothes and they were too big for him, lol

_allhailtheking_

LMAOOOOOOO

_god-save-the-queen_

Did he do the lipstick?

_national_treasure_

guys!

_everyone likes the original better_

he did!

_national_treasure_

Guys robotink’s here and idk how to get back to the cruiser!!!

It looks like he has a robot but i cant see it clearly and it looks like its glowing like my quills

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Which direction did you go after the fight?

_national_treausre_

Nooifwnearleig

_cause im baby and classic_

Wachowski?

_everyone like the original better_

that was north

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Heading there now

_i have a plan, attack_

Omw

_spacecop_

Me too

_national_treasure_

There’s no need, I’m functioning optimally!

_god-save-the-queen_

?

_national_treasure_

Believing that I, a very confident rodent, would need help is a bit foolish. Don’t you think?

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

I will gut you like I did that dragon, Robotnik

You vile excuse for a collection for DNA

_spacecop_

I’m getting a chaos tracker from the cruiser, hold tight.

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Answer me Robotnik!  
WHERE ARE YOU?!

_allhailtheking_

shit

hes not answering

_everyone likes the original better_

me , fleet , and knux are already looking, weve split up to cover more ground

u good shads?

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

I will be once I find them

_i have a plan, attack_

And we will

Im going to text tails, he has another chaos tracker

_everyone likes the original better_

right, thanks babe

i think i see something smoking in the distance, im heading over there

_i have a plan, attack_

be careful

_everyone likes the original better_

I will

u too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sonic - everyone likes the original better
> 
> Scourge - allhailtheking
> 
> Classic - cause im baby and classic
> 
> Fleetway Comics Sonic - god-save-the-queen
> 
> Movie Sonic - national_treasure
> 
> Zonic - spacecop
> 
> Knuckles - i have a plan, attack
> 
> Shadow - 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep


	41. As for Shadow and Knuckles, I’m very disappointed in the both of you

**_im smarter than you_ ** _ was added to  _ **_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ im smarter than you _

ok im on my way and im bringing the tacker and the chaos emeralds that we had

but it was only 6, not all 7

_ spacecop _

Wachowski has the one that we had.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Goddamnit

_ everyone likes the original better _

its going to be ok

Im going to where they might be and we have some backup on the way

its going to be ok

_ god-save-the-queen _

be careful, prime

_ allhailtheking _

^^^

legitimately, be careful

_ everyone likes the original better _

thanks

Im near the smoke but theres something moving around

Its big, i can feel the footsteps

_ i have a plan, attack _

are you hidden? are you ok?

_ everyone likes the original better _

im ok

I dont see the kid

im going to see if hes close

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Good

_ i have a plan, attack _

NO

If that thing’s still around, and it could be robotnik, itll spot you

dont move

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

We could be on a time limit here, guardian

If we are, Sonic needs to find Wachowski quickly

_ i have a plan, attack _

time limit or not, if it took the kid, it could take sonic too

he needs to stay where he is and wait for us to help him

_ cause im baby and classic _

prime?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I get that you’re desperate to finally get out of your boyfriend’s shadow, but being an idiot isnt going to help you here

_ spacecop _

Sonic Prime?

Hello?

_ im smarter than you _

Bro?

@ **everyone likes the original better**

_ i have a plan, attack _

youre being desperate and stupid about protecting wachowski!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

like you protecting the master emerald?

_ i have a plan, attack _

like you protecting maria?

oh wait

_ im smarter than you _

GUYS LITERALLY STOP

SONIC HASNT BEEN RESPONDING THIS ENTIRE TIME

MY BROTHER IS SERIOUSLY IN DANGER WE JUST HAVE TO GET THERE ASAP SO QUIT UR BULLSHIT AND HELP ACTUALLY LOOK FOR THEM

@ **everyone likes the original better**

@ **everyone likes the original better**

_ spacecop _

We’ll find them, Tails. Don’t worry.

As for Shadow and Knuckles, I’m very disappointed in the both of you and I expect that neither of you will let this impede on our finding our very in-danger teammates.

_ i have a plan, attack _

right

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Of course


	42. leave us alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a different format today, but you'll see why!

Zonic’s shuttle could only go so fast, but with Tails’ quick upgrades, it made rounders quicker than what interdimensional law allowed. No one needed to know and if they did, they would understand the urgency. 

Tails took the copilot seat, eyes scanning the ground for any sign of the Sonics or Robotnik. Zonic and Tails both spotted a large disturbance in the mushrooms; large fungi were knocked over and broken, stems burnt and cut, tops cut through. The shuttle landed and Zonic wasn’t quick enough to stop the younger from rushing into the destruction. Zonic was quick to lose sight of Tails. 

He had to keep an eye on him. He couldn’t lose Tails like he lost Wachowski and Prime. He was still a kid, he couldn’t let anything happen to the kit --

He turned and ran when he heard Tails scream Sonic’s name, sounding to be in pain. He launched himself over and under debris, trying to get to the kit, who was -- kneeling. 

As Zonic approached the kit, he noticed that he was holding something. Someone? It was completely gray --

Oh Chaos.

The hedgehog in his arms was completely gray, blue and peach fur and quills seemingly _drained_ of all colour. His eyes were wide open but unblinking and save for a small ring of green around the pupil, the iris was also gray. He was somehow tense and limp simultaneously.

It was Sonic Prime.

Tails looked back at Zonic with wide watery eyes and the Zone Cop was immediately sprung into action. He grabbed Sonic’s wrist and placed his fingers against the gray neck. “He has a pulse. It'll be ok.” Zonic informed Tails, grabbing the body from his arms. “We have to get him to the shuttle and somewhere safe, ok? Can you clear the path?”

Tails nodded with determination and did as told, quickly pushing destroyed mushrooms out of the way, even as his gloves started to rip from the rough treatment. They finally got to the shuttle and Tails took Prime from Zonic’s arms. “Drive.” The younger commanded, sitting in the back with Prime hugged close to him. Zonic approached the steering system, taking his communicator out. 

\---

_spacecop_

Everyone form up at the coordinates I’m sending over. 

@ **i have a plan, attack** We’re coming to you. We found Prime, but he’s not good. I’m so sorry.

_i have a plan, attack_

right 

ok

Ill see you when you arrive

_50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep_

Im sorry

_i have a plan, attack_

just

leave us alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Not Sorry


	43. you have to stop looking for Wachowski

_ i have a plan, attack _

shadow, you have to stop looking for Wachowski

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Excuse me?

_ i have a plan, attack _

something drained a lot of Sonic’s chaos energy

his body seems to be creating its own, but it pretty slow-going

hes really out of it 

_ spacecop _

But a part of his mumbling included “robotnik” so the working theory is that robotnik drained his chaos energy like he did last time to Wachowski’s quill.

You have the highest concentration of chaos energy here, and are thus at a larger risk. 

You need to hold back.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Hell no

Thats all the more reason i need to find wachowski even faster

Im taking the emeralds and finding him

_ cause im baby and classic _

no!

what???

thats literally so stupid!

_ allhailtheking _

literally why in the fuck would you bring more chaos energy to the guy who is draining chaos energy??!?!!?

_ god-save-the-queen _

that is so fuckinng stupid shadow

come back so we can strategize or something

jesus fuck

_ im smarter than you _

shadow, get back here

Im trying to detect wachowski and robontik and you literally have to go out and mess the readings up? You insufferable idiot

_ everybody likes the original better _

Sssstoppppp

Shasd

coem backk

_ i have a plan, attack _

hey, go back to sleep, babe

Its ok

_ everybody likes the original better _

noooiiiiiiii

shadow

dondt od it

_ spacecop _

Shadow?

Can you respond?

_ allhailtheking _

GODDAMNIT

HE LITERALLY TOOK THE FUCKING EMERALDS T HAT MOTHERFUCKER

_ im smarter than you _

just

everyone get to the shuttle

_ spacecop _

SCRATCH THAT, NO ONE COME TO THE SHUTTLE

WE NEED TO GET OUT RN

_ god-save-the-queen _

why? Whats happening???

_ spacecop _

HES HERE AND THE MACHINE IS HUGE AND IT HAS ALL OF THE CHAOS EMERALDS


	44. finally some fucking maturity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when you havent updated in week on a fic that you began with daily updates for...
> 
> big yikes, I'm sorry
> 
> but hey, the results of the questionnaire thing have finally happened

_ i have a plan, attack _

@ **everyone** GET TO ZONIC, WEE NEED TO GET THAT MF ROBOT

_ godsavethequeen _

where’s prime? has anyone seen shadow?

_ all-hail-the-king _

nice, abandoning ur bf, red!

and ur brother, nerdbutt

knuckles, tails, and zonic went after the robot

im in the shuttle, grabbed prime

...and the shuttle’s been crushed

fucking great

the onoe fucking time i gotta be the responsible asshole

_ godsavethequeen _

babe, stop being pissed for a tic

_ all-hail-the-king _

?

_ godsavethequeen _

LOOK AT THE JAR CHILD

_ cause im baby and classic _

WHERE

_ godsavethequeen _

HEART OF MACHINE

_ cause im baby and classic _

OH SHIT

HE YELLOW

_ godsavethequeen _

AND BREAKING OUT OF THE JAR

_ all-hail-the-king _

HE GONE SUPER

_ godsavethequeen _

WHERE IS HE GOING

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

TO SAVE ME, LETS GET OUT THE WAY

_ godsavethequeen _

OH SHIT OH YEAH

LMAOOOOOO

_ all-hail-the-king _

where are the others!!!

_ i have a plan, attack _

Hey im back with zonic and tails, where’s the shuttle?!

_ all-hail-the-king _

crushed under the robot

ur welcome for saving ur bf

_ i have a plan, attack _

Oh

Thank you

_ everyonelikestheoriginalbetter _

uuuuuuuu

lft meee ono

the skyboat

_ i have a plan, attack _

im so sorry bb

_ cause im baby and classic _

You fucking should be

_ godsavethequeen _

woah

_ cause im baby and classic _

Literally you and shadow were the stupidest motherfuckers i have ever seen throughout this whole thing and yall needed to get your asses saved by the kid, literal child, who we were trying to save because of ur dick measuring contest

Acting more like children than the actual children

_ spacecop _

Language!

_ cause im baby and classic _

I said what i said and im right and we all know it

_ everyonelikestheoriginalbetter _

U rit

_ national_treasure _

HEY I FOUND MY PHONE IN THE WRECKAGE I WENT SUPERSAIYAN GUYS DID YOU SEE THAT AND I SAVED SHADOW WHAT IM  **_BLOND NOW?!?!?!?_ **

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Thank you

_ national_treasure _

THANK YOU FOR THANKING ME BUT WHAT IS HAP

MUCH ENERGY BIG EXCITE

_ i have a plan, attack _

You absorbed the power of the chaos emeralds and went super

and apparently defeated robotnik’s robogiant really quickly

_ everyonelikestheoriginalbetter _

gud bab!

v proud!

_ national_treasure _

ARE U OK

CAPSLOCK

_ all-hail-the-king _

he got his energy succ by skinny eggface

on the plusside, he betterish

he aint good but his eyes are back to normal

or were

he gets to sleep quick, wtf

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Thats probably good

And

Ill apologize when he wakes up

For telling him to go towards robotnik’s scheme and potentially putting him in danger

_ i have a plan, attack _

and im sorry for that

uh

low blow

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Thank you

_ cause im classic and baby _

finally some fucking maturity

_ spacecop _

Silence, you.

We should go back to No-Zone to pick up another shuttle.

And to allow Prime some time to recover.

_ national_treasure _

idk what yallre talking about but im happy that a resolution to whatevr happened has come

but

HOW DO I UNBLONDE


	45. im angerset wit hyou

_ everyone likes the original better _

where ams

_ i have a plan, attack _

we’re in zonic’s zone

_ everyone likes the original better _

not aski ng u

_ i have a plan, attack _

?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

We’re in Zonic’s zone

Sonic, I’d like to apologize

My short-sighted stubbornness put you and the entire team in danger. I am truly sorry. 

_ everyone likes the original better _

thank shad

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Are you still out of it? How out of it are you?

_ everyone likes the original better _

am not gud

gon vom if iiii up on leg

lookk like classy

_ i have a plan, attack _

what are you even saying?

_ allhailtheking _

he’s not doing good

_ god-save-the-queen _

he’s gonna be sick if he stands up

_ national_treasure _

he’s still not gotten all his colour back and is as pale as classic

_ cause im baby and classic _

he’s ur bf, how did you not get that

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

_ i have a plan, attack _

what?

what was the … for

_ im smarter than you _

yikes

_ spacecop _

I’m not sure how to handle this.

So we’re moving on. 

How many of you are at the shuttle lot?

_ im smarter than you _

I think we all are, except for sonic

my sonic

But this place is huge!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Im on the 43rd level of the shuttle dealership

I got lost getting up here admittedly

_ everyone likes the original better _

lil

*lol

_ i have a plan, attack _

…?

_ allhailtheking _

….right well im on the 68th floor

why tf does a shuttle dealership have so many fuckin floors

and my ‘disguise’ is making my skin itchy

_ god-save-the-queen _

itll wash out by the end of the week

_ allhailtheking _

while this dye is in my quils, i shall complain about it

its itchy

its ugly

it smells gross

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

So its the perfect match for you

_ cause im baby and classic _

YO SHADOW COMIN IN WITH THAT BURN THO

fr, i havent been able to find the stairs to get passed the 3rd floor

_ im smarter than you _

lol, stairs

im flying

*im outside the 97th floor and i still cant see the top*

_ spacecop _

Please get back inside.

The elevator is two kilometres left of the entrance door.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Sorry, *kilometres*???

_ everyone likes the original better _

thicc

biudling

_ i have a plan, attack _

nice

_ everyone likes the original better _

i kno

_ i have a plan, attack _

ok why are you being like this rn

being snippy with me like what the hell

_ everyone likes the original better _

srsly?

_ i have a plan, attack _

what do you mean srsly?

whats wrong?

and why did you respond to shadow but not want to hear from me?

_ everyone likes the original better _

he did thing

not you did thing tho

_ i have a plan, attack _

ur not making any sense!

_ god-save-the-queen _

omg

_ everyone likes the original better _

he strat talk gud

you not did gud thing

im angerset wit hyou

_ i have a plan, attack _

wtf is angerset?!

_ allhailtheking _

omg dude take a sec and like, look

_ i have a plan, attack _

at what???

_ everyone likes the original better _

u jrkface

meany

_ i have a plan, attack _

what

_ everyone likes the original better _

im leaving

**_everyone likes the original better_** left **_guys please,there are literal children here_**

_ spacecop _

Knuckles, stay in the dealership.

_ i have a plan, attack _

whats happening

_ im smarter than you _

omg we literally left him on the shuttle and he had to be saved by one of the people thats tried to kill him and hes upset, thats whats happening

_ god-save-the-queen _

I would try to find him, but i am stuck on floor 28

or is it the 27th

does this zone use the american system or the correct system

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Ill stay with knuckles, idk how to get off this floor

_ allhailtheking _

o h so i have to get him again? Of fucking course

yall need help


	46. Author's Note Again

Hi guys! I'm sorry to say that, due to a family emergency, I'll be going on a bit of a hiatus. I'll try to reply to anyone who comments or sends something on tumblr, and I'm sorry in advance that it make take a while.

Have a nice day and please enjoy your week!


	47. omg knuckles shut up

**_god-save-the-queen_ ** direct message to  **_everyone likes the original better_ **

_ god-save-the-queen _

Where r u

_ everyone likes the original better _

idk

away

_ god-save-the-queen _

we’re trying to find u, dont make it difficult

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

_ god-save-the-queen _

any more difficult than what u usually make things

_ everyone likes the original better _

ill go back l8

l8r

leave m lone

_ god-save-the-queen _

hell no

shadow is the loner, not u

spill the ‘what’s wrong’ beans

**_everyone likes the original better_** has been added to **_guys please,there are literal children here_**

_ god-save-the-queen _

this works too

_ i have a plan, attack _

Ok but like, shadow apologized to you and thats not what i did so do you want an apology???

_ everyone likes the original better _

...ye

_ i have a plan, attack _

Ok but like for what tho

_ cause im baby and classic _

…

Yike

_ everyone likes the original better _

r u serious

your e serious

_ i have a plan, attack _

yes???

_ allhailtheking _

omg knuckles shut up

_ everyone likes the original better _

u cant be fucking serious

seriously dude?

i got almost all of my chaos energy drained and almost died and im still in literal pain from that and it was worse when it happened and i was so out of it and in pain the entire time

_ i have a plan, attack _

wait, pain?

_ everyone likes the original better _

and then you were there and i thought it was going to be fine even tho everything still hurt but you know, my bf’s there so why wouldnt it be fine but then you left so on top of being scared and confused i was also alone and more scared because my boyfriend just went after a machine thats like 50 feet tall and also literally drains the life out of people and i dont want to be an ass but you and tails and zonic literally left me curled up in a ball on the floor of the shuttle and scourge of all assholes saved me literally five seconds before you literally punched the machine onto the shuttle and then you wonder why i want an apology???

_ im smarter than you _

sonic, breathe

where are you

_ everyone likes the original better _

screw you dude, i was actually scared and you left me even tho you could literally see that you couldnt have done anything against that mechanical kaiju motherfucker

like dude

u literally left your bf to die, cold in pain and alone, to be saved by someone who tried to kill him multiple times, and u wonder why i want an apology????????

_ spacecop _

Prime…

**_everyone likes the original better_** left **_guys please,there are literal children here_**

_ cause im baby and classic _

there he goes again

_ i have a plan, attack _

I MUST FIND AND HUG MY BF SORRY HAVE TO GO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, thanks for sticking with me! updates are still gonna be spotty, but thankfully i started this chapter beforehand, lol


	48. *third fastest, actually

**_i have a plan, attack_ ** _ direct message _ **_to everyone likes the original better_ **

_ i have a plan, attack _

sonic, where are you

_ everyone likes the original better _

omg

Im away

Idk

Im not near you anyway, why do you want to know

_ i have a plan, attack _

so i can apologize in person

babe, i am so sorry

I didnt think it through and i left you alone and im so so so sorry

_ everyone likes the original better _

…

Im sorry too

you were doing what you thought was best

*your judgement sucks*, but you thought it was a good thing so

_ i have a plan, attack _

no, sonic, bb, you dont have to be sorry!

_ everyone likes the original better _

*accept the apology or ill stay mad at you*

_ i have a plan, attack _

*only if you accept my apology too*

_ everyone likes the original better _

deal

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ has been added to _ **_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ allhailtheking _

fucking finally you fucking nerds 

now dont ever leave again because evidently i have abandonment issues so like

plz

Dont do that pullshit again

*bullshit

_ god-save-the-queen _

Lmao, i wont leave, babe

_ allhailtheking _

i know, lovely

_ spacecop _

Glad you’re back, Prime. The rest of us have met up on Level 50, where are you?

_ everyone likes the original better _

um

well

the thing is

_ i have a plan, attack _

you have no idea

_ everyone likes the original better _

i have no idea

how many floors does this place have?

_ spacecop _

…

950

As for Fleetway’s earlier question, we use the correct system which is the American system

_ god-save-the-queen _

I will continue to anarchy

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

^

_ national_treasure _

I shall learn anarchy

_ cause im baby and classic _

I shall learn arson and Enjoy It ™ 

_ spacecop _

...We use the correct levelling system

Please do not anarchy nor commit arson.

There’s already a Sonic that does that anyway...

**_everyone likes the original better_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_where’s waldo?_ **

_ allhailtheking _

back on track here, folks

try to find the service desk on the floor you’re on, the level number should be on the wall next to it

_ where’s waldo _

ok

…

omg

_ im smarter than you _

what?

_ where’s waldo _

im

Uh

lmao

im on level 837

_ i have a plan, attack _

***how did you get there in literally a minute???***

_ where’s waldo? _

...he asks the fastest thing alive

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

*second fastest

_ national_treasure _

*third fastest, actually

_ where’s waldo? _

once im able to stand without feeling like the world is tipping over, im racing both of you

_ spacecop _

We’ll head to you then.

All aboard the elevator, children.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

*Excuse me???*

_ spacecop _

***All aboard the elevator, children.***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Sonic that commits arson is actually a reference to a [collaborative ArSonic AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803721) with a bunch of people from the [ pockethog ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747051)server, all of whom are amazingly talented! Now featuring art from [shu on tumblr](https://shuradrawz.tumblr.com/)!


	49. ZONIC CURB STMPED HIM

_ allhailtheking _

omg omg omg

_ god-save-the-queen _

calm down

_ allhailtheking _

dont tell me what to do

_ god-save-the-queen _

what

_ allhailtheking _

Im soryy ilu

_ god-save-the-queen _

i kno

_ where’s waldo _

what’s happing???

_ allhailtheking _

ZOBOTNIK’S IN THE ELEVATOR WITH US AND ALL I HAVE FOR A DISGUISE IS NAVY BLUE QUILL DYE

_ where’s waldo _

oop

_ spacecop _

Relax, there are four people standing in between you and Zobotnik. You’ll be fine.

_ allhailtheking _

shouldnt you be talking to zobotnik and distracting him from LOOKING AT ME

_ spacecop _

I’ve already given him the report on previous events in a manner that would leave your presence as something that couldn’t be implied. If I talk to him unnecessarily, it’ll only arouse suspicion. 

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Arouse?

_ cause im baby and classic _

plz stop

_ spacecop _

Otherwise “cause”, and you know that, Shadow!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

;D

_ where’s waldo _

sTOP

_ national_treasure _

arouse?

_ god-save-the-queen _

STOP

YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT

_ national_treasure _

why not?

_ where’s waldo _

yo dont ned to worry about that

_ i have a plan, attack _

zobotnik’s STARING at scourge…

_ allhailtheking _

Ive noticed

_ spacecop _

Stay calm.

_ allhailtheking _

calm before the storm

calm before the storm

calm before the storm

calm before the storm

_ national_treasure _

it’s gonna be ok

_ allhailtheking _

calm before the storm

calm before the storm

calm before the storm

_ god-save-the-queen _

the elevator is on the floor.

_ cause im baby and classic _

OMG

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT SCOURGE

_ spacecop _

Just get into a shuttle!

_ where’s waldo _

WHAT HAPPENED

_ spacecop _

Get to the GX-562!

It’s near Prime!

_ where’s waldo _

i already opened the door and have it running, what happened?!!?

_ allhailtheking _

I

I PUNCHED ZOBOTNIK ON OUR WAY OUT OF THE ELEVATOR

ZONIC CURB STMPED HIM

SHADOW HEADBUTTED HIM

TAILS FUCKIN SLAPPED HIM ACROSS THE FACE

HOLY FUCK

WE RUNNING

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

THE CHILDREN AND I ARE IN

_ allhailtheking _

SO ARE ME AND FLEET

_ spacecop _

I’m in that’s all of us, LET’S GO

_ where’s waldo _

so

_ allhailtheking _

dont

_ where’s waldo _

SO

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Damn it

_ where’s waldo _

i got chaos-drained, scourge and zonic and tails and shadow freaked, and now we’re interdimensional fugitives

and also we have children with us

do i have that about right???

_ im smarter than you _

just about

_ national_treasure _

i also kicked his shin

_ cause im baby and classic _

i punched his knee

he was so tol that i could punch his knee

_ where’s waldo _

omg

at least we didnt have to pay for the shuttle then!


	50. rood

_ national_treasure _

so...

@ **spacecop** whats the plan

_ spacecop _

I was going to defer to Prime on this one.

_ national_treasure _

oh

Sorry, i jst assumed u, the adult with authority, would be leader on this

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

*offended noises*

_ cause im baby and classic _

so zonic assumed that the guy who’s had two mental breakdowns in the span of less than 50 chapters was gonna be in charge after he very nearly got his life energy succed out???

makes sense

_ where’s waldo _

why dont we ask the guy who punched zobotnik in the face first what our plan is???

:D

_ allhailtheking _

die

_ where’s waldo _

Kill me yourself, coward

_ god-save-the-queen _

ill help him hide your body

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I’ll get the popcorn

And chloroform

_ im smarter than you _

I recommend nitroglycerin, it’s easier to get and still super toxic

_ where’s waldo _

ive been betrayed by my brother again

where did i go wrong

_ cause im baby and classic _

probably waking up this morning

_ national_treasure _

probably when you created the groupchat

_ i have a plan, attack _

probably when you became friends with yourself

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

probably when u were born

_ where’s waldo _

rood

_ spacecop _

Hi, yes, can I draw our attention back to the fact that we are all, in fact, interdimensional fugitives of the law?

BECAUSE WE ARE ALL, IN FACT, INTERDIMENSIONAL FUGITIVES OF THE LAW!

_ national_treasure _

*right so about that there are like 10, 11 shuttles chasing us rn*

_ where’s waldo _

oop

F in the chat for us

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I’m immortal

_ national_treasure _

*F in the chat for us, Shadow*

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

F

_ i have a plan, attack _

F

_ cause im baby and classic _

F

_ allhailtheking _

FUCK THAT I AINT GOING BACK TO JAIL

_ god-save-the-queen _

F

_ spacecop _

NEITHER AM I

_ im smarter than you _

wut 

_ where’s waldo _

HOLY CRAP

_ god-save-the-queen _

LET ME PUT A SEATBELT ON

_ i have a plan, attack _

IM HUDDLING OVER SONIC PRIME

IS THAT ZONIC DRIVING

_ national_treasure _

WE JUST LOST LIKE HALF OFF THEM

EXPLOSIONS ARE HAPPENING

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

SIT DOWN AND PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON

_ cause im baby and classic _

UPSIDE DOWN

WE ARE

UPSIDE DOWN

_ spacecop _

Shut up and strap in; I’ve got this.

_ allhailtheking _

AND *IVE* GOT SOMETHING IN MY STOMACH THAT DOESNT WANT TO BE THERE ANYMORE

_ im smarter than you _

HOLY SHIT

_ where’s waldo _

LANGUAGE

_ i have a plan, attack _

I FUCKING HATE ROLLER COASTERS

_ spacecop _

Hey, I lost them, didn’t I?!

_ national_treasure _

looks so!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

*didnt i tell you to sit and strap in*

_ national_treasure _

*i didnt listen*

_ cause im baby and classic _

so 

instead of whatever the hell it is we didnt have planned to begin with

_ where’s waldo _

hes right and he should say it

_ cause im baby and classic _

we could always visit

yknow

*the other one*

_ i have a plan, attack _

“the other one”?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

^^^

???

_ where’s waldo _

the other one indeed

you’ll see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perhaps, after taking the author's notes out of the counting, i should do a special when we reach 50 chapters...
> 
> holy shit 50 chapters in less than 6 months...


	51. that’s why we had shadow take over driving

_ spacecop _

So I’ve come to the realization that I may have gone slightly feral while I was driving. 

_ god-save-the-queen _

uh

fuckin

yeah

_ national_treasure _

uh, yeah

that’s why we had shadow take over driving

_ spacecop _

And yet I’m still the only person that knows how to get to the zone we want to go to.

_ where’s waldo _

we’ll get to that when we get to it

_ i have a plan, attack _

dont worry about it

_ cause im baby and classic _

it eez what it eez

_ allhailtheking _

is there water on here, im still fuckin nauseaous

literally, zon, never drive again

_ spacecop _

*I got rid of them, didn’t I?!*

_ allhailtheking _

yeah

And my lunch

_ spacecop _

Grow a stronger stomach.

_ allhailtheking _

uh

rood

_ god-save-the-queen _

ill get u ur water bb

_ allhailtheking _

finally someone cares

_ god-save-the-queen _

bitch im doing this so youll stop fucking whining in my ear about it

_ allhailtheking _

OK NEVERMIND THEN

_ where’s waldo _

doesnt this shuttle have a gps or something? Why do we need zonic to know where to go?

_ spacecop _

Yeah, because satellites meant to stay in orbit over one planet can totally operate interdimensionally.

_ where’s waldo _

excuse you was that sarcasm???

_ spacecop _

Of course not. /s

_ i have a plan, attack _

I have a feeling

a feeling that

the only reason zonic was ~responsible~ and ~mature~ before was because he was an Employed Man

_ spacecop _

You can’t prove that.

_ national_treausre _

yeah, he’s still grammering right

that has to count for something

_ god-save-the-queen _

we 

i mean

sure, why not

it counts for him being a total bleedin nerd

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Can yall shut up while im driving

Or just like slow the fuck down

_ i have a plan, attack _

You fool

_ im smarter than you _

You poor fool

_ where’s waldo _

You

_ cause im baby and classic _

Want

_ allhailtheking _

Us

_ national_treasure _

To

_ god-save-the-queen _

Slow

_ spacecop _

Down?

_ where’s waldo _

You

_ national_treasure _

Buffoon

_ cause im baby and classic _

You

_ god-save-the-queen _

Utter

_ allhailtheking _

Moron.

_ cause im baby and classic _

You

_ national_treasure _

Would

_ spacecop _

Ask

_ where’s waldo _

Gods

_ allhailtheking _

To

_ cause im baby and classic _

Become

_ god-save-the-queen _

Mortal!

_ im smarter than you _

omg please

_ where’s waldo _

Slow

_ allhailtheking _

Down?

_ cause im baby and classic _

***Slow***

_ god-save-the-queen _

***Down?***

_ national_treasure _

Utter

_ where’s waldo _

Nonsense

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

ok wow remind me to never ask you guys to slow down again

just

Dont distract me while im driving

_ national_treasure _

you boomer, turn ur phone on silent

_ where’s waldo _

HAAAAAAAAAAA

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

Right

That’s a thing i can do

_ spacecop _

“You Boomer”, I love this kid.

_ allhailtheking _

you got called out, stripes, lmaooooooooo

_ god-save-the-king _

we all love this kid, and this is why


	52. they accept coconuts as payment

**_here comes the boom_ ** _ has been added to _ **_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ here comes the boom _

Why am I here?

_ allhailtheking _

i punched a man and now we’re interdimensional fugitives so we need to crash in your dimensioin for a while

and no, we arent actually asking for permission

_ here comes the boom _

i hate you all

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

i like this sonic and only one (1) other

_ natinal_treasure _

and we all know its me

_ cause im baby and classic _

yeah, we already know

_ where’s waldo _

so welcome to the chaos

_ here comes the boom _

You Fool

I was born in the chaos

_ god-save-the-queen _

you dont even have chaos energy u dickhead

_ here comes the boom _

shut

_ spacecop _

Please don’t be mean to each other yet.

_ im smarter than you _

“yet”

_ here comes the boom _

you guys are the ones running from the law, not me

and also housing yourselves in my dimension without asking first

way to invite yourselves over, btw

yall better be better roomies than eggman or i stg i *will* kick you out

_ i have a plan, attack _

youre roomies with eggman

_ here comes the boom _

*was

_ cause im baby and classic _

understandable

_ national_treasure _

u were roomies with eggman?

_ here comes the boom _

long story

none of u better get caught while ur here

theyll go harsh on me because i still havent paid a ticket cause the OfFiCeR didnt accept “gotta go fast” as a medical condition

_ god-save-the-queen _

fuck that officer

_ where’s waldo _

how rood of them

_ national_treasure _

unfortunate

_ cause im baby and classic _

we could always pay it for you

_ spacecop _

With what money? All our accounts are frozen! *Interdimensional fugitives.*

_ here comes the boom _

they accept coconuts as payment

Im not paying it for the sake of argument

_ im smarter than you  _

read my username

it continues to be true

_ here comes the boom _

maybe so

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

but…?

_ here comes the boom _

Maybe So

_ spacecop _

Right

Well

We’re landing in less than five minutes

_ here comes the boom _

watch for trees

_ allhailtheking _

hOw HeLpFuL


	53. TEA

_ here comes the boom _

hey so since youve landed, a bunch of people are sort of dicked

so the mayor wants me and a friend of mine to keep an eye on you so uhhhhhhh

_ spacecop _

Understandable, considering our shuttle is larger than your entire island.

**_himbo_ ** _ has been added to  _ **_guys please,there are literal children here_ **

_ himbo _

oh hi

_ im smarter than you _

uh

hi?

_ here comes the boom _

he’s my knuckles

(and he’s buffer than yours so)

_ i have a plan, attack _

hey other me, we’re sparring on the beach in 5 minutes

_ himbo _

im always up for a friendly match!

_ where’s waldo _

ehehe

yeah

~~ ‘friendly’ ~~

_ here comes the boom _

ehehehe

yeah

~~ ‘match’ ~~

_ where’s waldo _

~~ my knux is stronger than yours ~~

_ allhailtheking _

Lol

_ here comes the boom _

~~ mine can punch the ground and the volcano will erupt ~~

_ where’s waldo _

~~ mine can use the chaos emeralds ~~

_ here comes the boom _

~~ mine doesnt need them ~~

_ national_treasure _

O.O

_ god-save-the-queen _

TEA

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I’ll go get popcorn

_ spacecop _

Please don’t destroy the island.

_ cause im baby and classic _

no promises

_ spacecop _

You’re not even involved with the match!

_ cause im baby and classic _

…

_ spacecop _

You’re not involved with the match, right?

Right?

Classic, you’re not involved with the match, *right*?

God please why is this my life now…

_ allhailtheking  _

then i probably shouldnt tell u what’s happening in the ring then

_ spacecop _

...What’s happening in the ring?

_ allhailtheking _

i just said i shouldnt tell you

_ spacecop _

I’m

I’m on my way.


	54. Spacecop Steals the Lifesavings of a 52-Year-Old Inventor, more at 10

_ spacecop _

I can’t believe you’ve done this.

_ cause im baby and classic _

its not that bad

_ spacecop _

WE OWE THE VILLAGE 25,000 COCONUTS

_ cause im baby and classic _

*its not that bad*

**_spacecop_ ** _ has muted  _ **_cause im baby and classic_ **

_ allhailtheking _

rood

**_spacecop_ ** _ has muted  _ **_allhailtheking_ **

_ spacecop _

Anyone else?

_ where’s waldo _

…

_ im smarter than you _

…

_ god-save-the-queen _

…

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

_ himbo _

wow, thats teri

terif

_ here comes the boom _

take your time, buddy

_ himbo _

scary

_ here comes the boom _

Terrifying?

_ himbo _

Terrifying! yeah!

_ here comes the boom _

good job babe!

_ himbo _

<3

_ spacecop _

I am, indeed, terrifying. So we’re going to go with this: Shadow, Wachowski, you two are going to search the shoreline for coconuts. 

_ national_treasure _

yessir

_ spacecop _

Fleetway, get your boy and start searching outside the village.

_ god-save-the-queen _

on it

_ spacecop _

…

_ god-save-the-queen _

on it, SIR

_ spacecop _

There we go.

Now the rest of us are going to steal coconuts from Eggman.

_ where’s waldo _

wow ok u *really* turned to the dark side goddamn

_ here comes the boom _

Spacecop Steals the Lifesavings of a 52-Year-Old Inventor, more at 10

_ himbo _

are

are we ok?

_ i have a plan, attack _

are we ever?

_ im smarter than you _

no

no we are not

_ spacecop _

We’re robbing a 52-Year-Old Inventor and that’s final.

Let’s go.

_ where’s waldo _

i

ok

but also

**_where’s waldo_ ** _ unmuted  _ **_cause im baby and classic_ **

**_where’s waldo_ ** _ unmuted  _ **_allhailtheking_ **

_ where’s waldo _

we might need them

_ spacecop _

*Might*


	55. we ran out of tylenol and we are still mostly in pain

_ spacecop _

Everything went so wrong.

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

uh

_ spacecop _

Yet ended up so well.

_ where’s waldo _

my knux’s arm is broken

_ spacecop _

We got all the coconuts we need. 

_ cause im baby and classic _

i am

in pain

_ spacecop _

We got

All the coconuts

We need

_ im smarter than you _

we ran out of tylenol and we are still mostly in pain

s _ pacecop _

There’s more in the shuttle.

_ where’s waldo _

the shuttle is completely out

we used them all

_ im smarter than you _

Im sure youve noticed that literally all sonics have increased metabolism and have to ingest a lot faster in order for it to work

_ spacecop _

So it’s their fault.

Stop metabolizing.

_ national_treasure _

uh

_ allhailtheking _

thats

that

_ god-save-the-king _

ok, zon

ur taking a nap

uve gone stupid gone crazy at you need to relax

and also put ur bleeding head on right

_ spacecop _

Excuse you?

_ god-save-the-queen _

no, excuse you, you pompous dickhead

literally wtf zonic

the moment you, what, lose your job? the moment you lose your job uve been pulling stunts that are way out of character and u need to stop that shit

“oh poor me, i lost my job and have to go rogue because i kicked my boss now i have to act like a child with no regard for any1 else boohoo” 

join the bleedin club

_ where’s waldo _

wow ok

_ allhailtheking _

babe, u good???

_ god-save-the-queen _

literally all of us have been a fugitive at one point or another

the fuckin montana lad had to stay in hiding for 10 years 

stfu, take a nap, and quit ur bullshit

if anyone needs medical attention, get to the shuttle, ill see what i can do

_ here comes the boom _

…

Ill 

ill take the coconuts to the mayor

_ himbo _

i will go with him

and away

from this conversation


	56. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there he goes

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Ok so where are we

_ cause im baby and classic _

Idk

_ national_treasure _

Fleet? where r we going?

_ allhailtheking _

aRe We ThErE yEt

_ god-save-the-queen _

stfu

dont even start with that

_ allhailtheking _

U good?

_ god-save-the-queen _

yeah

sorry

just

dont touch anything wehn we get there

nd ESPECIALLY dont touch the chaos emeralds

_ im smarter than you _

ok, got it

_ national_treasure _

why

_ allhailtheking _

just trust him on it

_ i have a plan, attack _

its complicated

_ where’s waldo _

no its not

fleet’s emeralds and chaos energy make you evil

dont touch them

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

omg

_ national_treasure _

oh

ok 

_ where’s waldo _

that wasnt bad!

_ national_treasure _

i want to try them

_ where’s waldo _

nvm

please dont

_ national_treasure _

Well now i have to. 

_ im smarter than you _

nice going, bro

_ where’s waldo _

I THOUGHT ITD BE FINE

_ god-save-the-queen _

we landed

_ cause im baby and classic _

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there he goes

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

NICE GOING FAKER

_ where’s waldo _

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE GOOD TO TEL HIM WHY HE SHOULDNT GET THEM

ITS BETTER THAN NOT TELLING HIM

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

EVIDENTLY NOT

_ allhailtheking _

now we got to find the brat

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

_ where’s waldo _

the kid

we r going to find the kid

_ i have a plan, attack _

yall slow, im already out the shuttle

_ spacecop _

Oh so a child went missing *again* when I was no longer in charge?   
wHo CoUlD’vE sEeN tHaT cOmInG?!?!?!?1111?

_ cause im baby and classic _

the up shut fuck you feral jobless sasskitten

_ god-save-the-queen _

oh god why is this happening in MY zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposting the link to the sonic creators' server!
> 
> You don't have to be a fan-creator to join and we've updated so that there is also a section for non-sonic content! There you'll see some sneak peeks into a new AU I'm working on: BNHA x SU!


	57. I AM YOUR TEMPORARY DAD AND IM TELLING YOU TO GET DOWN HERE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh? it's been more than a week? and i haven't opened the doc for this that entire time?
> 
> that's sorta cringe tbh bro

_ god-save-the-queen _

has any1 found him yet

_ im smarter than you _

no and the author had like, *a whole-ass weak to think of something*!

~~ but didn’t ~~

_ where’s waldo _

…

_ i have a plan, attack _

~~ disappointing ~~

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

HAHA FUCK YALL I FOUND HIM AND JESUS FUCK

_ spacecop _

What specifically is happening to warrant the “JESUS FUCK”?!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

FUFKING GREMLIN

HE BIT ME

_ allhailtheking _

LMFAOOOOOOO

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

MOTHERFUCK

GLOWING ANGRY FERAL CHILD BOY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND HE FLEW THE FUCK AWAY

FUCKING OW

_ god-save-the-queen _

SO HE DOES HAVE THE EMERALDS?!

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

nO hE jUsT dEcIdEd To BiTe Me BeCaUsE iTs A fUn ThInG tO dO

YES HE HAS THE EMERALDS

_ allhailtheking _

to be fair

_ where’s waldo _

here we go

_ allhailtheking _

TO BE FAIR

_ im smarter than you _

Why am i even here

_ allhailtheking _

TO BE FAIR

I WOULD BITE YOU TOO

_ cause im baby and classic _

YOU WOULD BITE SOLIDIFIED ARSENIC IF IT MEANT SHOWING OFF YOUR BULLSHIT SHARKTEETH

_ spacecop _

LANGUAGE

_ cause im baby and classic _

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS

_ allhailtheking _

[ FUCK YOU BALTIMORE ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBs455jwb8w)

_ where’s waldo _

i hate you all and regret not getting arrested

_ national_treasure _

HEHO IM BLOND AGAIN

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

GET DOWN HERE

_ national_treasure _

YOURE NOT MY DAD

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I AM YOUR TEMPORARY DAD, GET DOWN HERE

_ national_treasure _

IM SUPER AND YOURE NOT

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

I AM YOUR TEMPORARY DAD AND IM TELLING YOU TO GET DOWN HERE

_ national_treasure _

LOL NO

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

SONIC MAURICE WACHOWSKI GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW

_ i have a plan, attack _

GET DOWN HERE OR WE’LL TELL MADDIE

_ national_treasure _

no wait

HAHA I TRICKED YOU IM STILL SUPER AND UR NOT

_ i have a plan, attack _

ok, im calling maddie

_ national_treasure _

YOURE NOT

YOU WOULDNT

RIGHT

wait, right?

knuckles?

youre not calling her,right?

knux?

_ where’s waldo _

...

_ national_treasure _

he’s not calling her is he?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

…

_ national_treasure _

WAIT KNUCKLES DONT DO THAT HOLD ONE DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID OR RASH OK JUST HOLD ON A SECOND


	58. please wiat im baby (very short chapter im sorry)

_ new_mom_inbound  _ **has been added to the chat**

_ national_treasure _

hi mommy!!!!!!

_ new_mom_inbound  _ **has changed their name to** _ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

_ national_treasure _

NO, MOTHER

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

All of you

_ spacecop _

Oh no

_ where’s waldo _

Oh no

_ allhailtheking _

Oh fuck

_ god-save-the-queen _

Oh shit

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

oh god

_ cause im baby and classic _

please wiat im baby

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Home.

Now.

_ im smarter than you _

i dont believe ive ever met this woman but i am In Fear

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Good

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-time _

Uhh so

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

YOU’RE COMING HERE TOO, MISTER

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP AN EYE ON HIM

GET OVER HERE

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

YES MAAM!!!


	59. *BREAKS GLASS* *JOHN MULANY VOICE* SCATTER!!!!!!!

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

so have we learned our lesson?

_ 50-years-wasnt-enough-sleep _

Yes maam

_ national_treasure _

yes mama

_ where’s waldo _

yes miss boss maam

_ allhailtheking  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ god-save-the-queen  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ im smarter than you _

…

*gremlin time*

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Excuse me?

_ im smarter than you  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ where’s waldo  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ i have a plan, attack  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ cause im baby and classic  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ spacecop  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

…

Son

Dont do it

_ national_treasaure _

…

…

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Dont

_ national_treasure  _ **_changed their name to_ ** _ maddie has the crown _

_ maddie has the crown _

hA

_ maddie has the crown _

Why must we do this?

_ maddie has the crown _

chaos

_ maddie has the crown _

anarchy

_ maddie has the crown _

laughs

_ maddie has the crown _

The growing need to join the cult that is sonic-sourced mayhem

_ maddie has the crown _

fun

_ maddie has the crown _

ive already lost track of who’s who

_ maddie has the crown _

same

_ maddie has the crown _

i have my theories

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I’m getting Thomas

I haven’t had enough coffee for this.

_ maddie has the crown _

oop

_ maddie has the crown _

yike

_ maddie has the crown _

*BREAKS GLASS* *JOHN MULANY VOICE* SCATTER!!!!!!!

_ maddie has the crown _

*scATTERS*

_ maddie has the crown _

*scatters*

_ maddie has the crown _

*SCATTERS*

_ maddie has the crown _

*SCATTERING*

_ maddie has the crown _

*^ same, but for the rest of us*

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I’m throwing away all of our chillidog ingredients

Brussel sprouts tonight

Unless…

_ maddie has the crown _

is

is this worth it

_ maddie has the crown _

Is anything worth it? No, but we do it anyway, lets *GO*

_ maddie has the crown _

running ruNNING RUNNING

_ maddie has the crown _

brussel sprouts omg gremlin hours please dont fail me


	60. idk guys, avoiding the sprouts also feels important

_ maddie has the crown _

so how long are we doing this 

_ maddie has the crown _

However long it takes

_ maddie has the crown _

ok but what even is our goal here

_ maddie has the crown _

i

@ **maddie has the crown** @ **maddie has the crown** @ **maddie has the crown** @ **maddie has the crown** @ **maddie has the crown**

_ maddie has the crown _

WHAT DO YOU Want

_ maddie has the crown _

what are we trying to do here

_ maddie has the crown _

…

_ maddie has the crown _

…

_ maddie has the crown _

…

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

You dont know???

_ maddie has the crown _

Hiveminds hour guys

_ maddie has the crown _

So what’s our goal here?

_ maddie has the crown _

to not get caught by the space cops

_ maddie has the crown _

to get maddie to laugh so she wont actually make us eat brussel sprouts

_ maddie has the crown _

to get brussel sprouts

_ maddie has the crown _

> to get brussel sprouts

*am i a joke to you*

_ maddie has the crown _

do we not know what we want???

_ maddie has the crown _

i don't even know what i want with my fries, nevermind what i want with my life

_ maddie has the crown _

idk, not getting caught by the space police feels like it should take priority

_ maddie has the crown _

i agree

_ maddie has the crown _

I agree

_ maddie has the crown _

I also agree

_ maddie has the crown _

im with @ **maddie has the crown** and we both agree

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

What am i even looking at here

_ maddie has the crown _

idk guys, avoiding the sprouts also feels important

_ maddie has the crown _

…

_ maddie has the crown _

ITS A JOKE

_ maddie has the crown _

*i would hope so*

_ maddie has the crown _

so into the attic we go to discuss life???

_ maddie has the crown _

ye

_ maddie has the crown _

Yup

_ maddie has the crown _

yeye

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I need coffee


	61. Art!

Art once again done by the amazing [JustBeCrazyWithIt](https://justbecrazywithit.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr! They also made some art in an earlier chapter of this fic and I cannot be more amazed by their talent! Go check them out!


	62. EVERYONE STAMP OF DISAPPROVAL

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ lol, forgot he was here _

_ lol, forgot he was here _

Hey!

who even are you?!?!?

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ green pastel goth _

_ green pastel goth _

Wow ok

rood

who even is this

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ needs jesus _

_ needs jesus _

well shit, u right

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ emo _

_ emo _

NO THEY ARE NOT

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ kachow _

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ needs a life _

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ god??? _

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ joints _

_ joints _

*oh my god my name is a lie*

_ the author  _ **has changed added** _ technically a terrorist _

_ god??? _

whomst?

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

hi babe!

_ kachow _

DONUT LORD?!?!?!?

_ needs jesus _

lmaoooooo

_ technically a terrorist _

hey so a “warden zombotnik” showed up at the house and uh

_ needs a life _

Oh no…

_ technically a terrorist _

dont worry, i punched this one too

_ kachow _

awesome!

_ god??? _

Sonic Prime Stamp of Approval

_ green pastel goth _

King Scourge Stamp of Approval

_ needs a life _

***Oh No***

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

…

Wife Stamp of Approval

_ emo _

Ultimate Lifeform Stamp of Approval

_ needs jesus _

Pothead Stamp of Approval

_ kachow _

Son Stamp of Approval

_ technically a terrorist _

UwU

_ kachow _

EVERYONE STAMP OF DISAPPROVAL

_ needs a life _

I Regret Everything

_ emo _

*never do that again*

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I Refuse

*anyway*

Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day

_ god??? _

Hell yeah!

to celebrate, mayhaps we come home and watch tom punch zobotnik if he comes back???

*please i miss you guys*

_ technically a terrorist _

im for it

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

the door’s always open, boys and enbies, but you **will** be having sprouts tonight


	63. id be cute af

_ the author  _ **has changed** _ maddie has the crown _ **’s name to** _ am smart _

_ am smart _

took them long enough

almost like they forgot about me

_ needs a life _

Hmmm…

_ joint _

sus

_ needs jesus _

i forgot you too pixel head that aint any different from normal

_ am smart _

u forget, fleets

Im not the tails from your universe

I Can and Will Sas

_ needs jesus _

if you have to declare that youre sassy, you might not actually be as sassy as you want to be

_ am smart _

like everytime you say youre the best sonic?

_ kachow _

oop

_ god??? _

Lol

_ am smart _

that applies to you too, bro

_ god??? _

Betrayal

_ emo _

uh

_ green pastel goth _

ok but this name has me considering getting one of those pastel goth skirts

id be cute af

_ needs jesus _

u look cute in everything, you mucus coloured babe you

_ green pastel goth _

Hell yeah

_ emo _

Yes hello hi i have some bad news

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

we can stop by marshals, but we can get some fabric from michael’s to sew one that’ll definitely fit you

_ technically a terrorist _

I can grab some on my way home, just tell me dimensions and colours.

_ emo _

HELLO YES, ZOBOTNIK IS OUTSIDE AND HAS LIKE THREE SHUTTLES WITH HIM

HES KNOCKING VERY LOUDLY AND I HAVE CHILDREN HIDING IN THE BASEMENT

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

ill get the shovel


	64. you are a police

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classic - lol, forgot he was here
> 
> Scourge - green pastel goth
> 
> Shadow - emo
> 
> Sonic - god???
> 
> Wachowski - kachow
> 
> Knuckles - joint
> 
> Zonic - needs a life
> 
> Fleetway - needs jesus
> 
> Tails - am smart
> 
> Maddie - hell-with-no-fury-like-mine
> 
> Tom - technically a terrorist

_ technically a terrorist _

hey, what happened to the bushes?

_ needs jesus _

mum got the shovel

_ technically a terrorist _

???

_ god??? _

she got the shovel when zobotnik showed up 

_ joint _

she hit him over the head then threw it through the windshield of a shuttle

_ needs a life _

Then that shuttle crashed into the others and they were all damaged. Zobotnik tripped over the stairs leading to the door and landed on the bush. They went into full retreat.

_ technically a terrorist _

Hell yeah, babe! Fuck the police!!!

_ green pastel goth _

you are a police

_ technically a terrorist _

Im just a good dude with a badge

I would punch cops

_ green pastel goth _

Acceptable ™ have a nice day

_ lol, forgot he was here _

so basically maddie wacked a man and sent the entire mulitversal police force into retreat with a shovel 

_ technically a terrorist _

I love my wife sm

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Damn Right you do

_ emo _

Couples who punch cops together stay together

_ kachow _

I want to punch non-dad-cops with someone!

_ green pastel goth _

ill bring you to no zone someday and we’ll punch cops there

_ god??? _

no

_ am smart _

to be fair, you guys have done exactly that before

_ kachow _

I didnt punch the cop that time, i kicked him

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Oh my god please

_ technically a terrorist _

taco night?

_ lol, forgot he was here _

Yes please!

_ joints _

i would like that, yes

_ technically a terrorist _

aight cool, il pick some up


	65. you know who you are, heathen

_ needs a life _

Right, so, Fleets needs better pizza.

_ needs jesus _

PINEAPPLE AND OLIVE ARE POGGERS ON PIZZA YA WANK

_ god??? _

NO TF IT ISNT

_ needs jesus _

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, SPRITE AND GINGER ALE ARE THE SAME FUCKIN THING

ANGRY WATER

_ am smart _

*slowly turning towards the camera*

you know who you are, heathen

_ joint _

I could go for a calzone

WAIT, MADDIE AND TOM HAVENT MET MY LITTOL BROTHER

_ green pastel goth _

yoU HAVE A BROTHER?!

_ lol, forgot he was here _

whaaaaaaaaaaa

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

awwwww, whats his name?

_ joint _

Dont laugh

_ god??? _

hmhmhhmmhm

_ joint _

Dont

_ green pastel goth _

why tf would i laugh

_ kachow _

why? is he named after joints to

_ god??? _

hmhmhhmhehehehehehehehehehe

_ needs jesus _

jesus mary and joseph, he is, aint he

_ joint _

...yes

_ technically a terrorist _

snk

ok, just

whats his name

_ joint _

knecapeon mace

...but we call him kneecaps

_ god??? _

heheheehhehahaahhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_ joint _

BABE

_ emo _

*Im trying very hard to contain my entertainment, but…*

_ god??? _

BEBE ILY BUT OMG

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Come on boys, be nice

_ joint _

thank you!

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

its not kneecaps’ fault he got named kneecaps

_ joint _

MADDIE!

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Ok ok, thats my one joke

_ technically a terrorist _

Hey maybe we can call him mace tho

_ kachow _

LIKE MACE WINDU

_ lol, forgot he was here _

YO

_ green pastel goth _

THATD BE COOLER THAN KNEECAPS

_ needs a life _

Guardian of the Master Emerald’s younger brother is a Master Jedi. 

That

That’s cool.

_ emo _

When your middle name is cooler than your first name

_ needs jesus _

please, please just call him mace

hell id go with windu

but if you call him kneecaps again, i can and will laugh in a toddler’s face

_ joint _

youre a jerk

_ needs jesus _

yea

is this news to you?

_ god??? _

come on guys

_ joint _

thank you!

_ god??? _

our make fun of people meter has been filled for the day, save it for tomorrow

_ joint _

*i shouldve known*

_ god??? _

ily

_ joint _

…

_ god??? _

ILYYYYYYYY

_ joint _

...ily2

_ green pastel goth _

hehe gay!

_ joint _

YOURE DATING THE GREMLIN

_ green pastel goth _

and enjoying every minute of it, lol


	66. WHAT DID HE DO TO MY BOIS

_ green pastel goth _

HAPPY SPOOKY SEASON START

_ needs a life _

Halloween is the end of October

_ needs jesus _

YOU FOOL

YOU THINK ITS OVER?!?!

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA

_ god??? _

@ _ joint  _ BABE PLZ GET OVER HERE AM SCRD THEY GOT THIS UNIVERSE MASTER EMERALD, SCOURGE IS SUPER, I FOUND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FLEETS GETS A CHAOS EMERALD AND I THINK IVE BEEN DARK GAIA POISONED AGAIN EVERYTHINGS FOGGY

_ joint _

HOLY SHIT OMW

_ kachow _

HEY IS IT BAD I THINK I BREATHED PURPLE FOG STUFF MOM DAD PLZ COME HOME

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

POISONED?!?!?

_ technically a terrorist _

OMG EVERYONE CALM DOWN EVERYONE CALM DOWN

_ emo _

WHO IN THE HELL THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

_ jim carrey  _ **added** _ themself _

_ emo _

WHO IS IT THIS TIME

_ lol, forgot he was here _

JIM CARREY?!?!?!

_ technically a terrorist _

WHAT IS HAPPENING

_ jim carrey _

Not quite, my fine rodent specimens.

_ emo _

Robotnik!

_ technically a terrorist _

HOW DID HE GET HERE

_ am smart _

HOW DID HE GETBACK TO THIS UNIVERSE

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

WHAT DID HE DO TO MY BOIS

_ jim carrey _

Oh I didn’t do much, really. Just went on a bit of a scavenger hunt with a rather rotund version of myself who seemed to have a peculiar difference with his name.

_ needs a life _

He teamed-up with Zobotnik!

_ jim carrey _

Well.

Way to take the fun out of the reveal.

_ am smart _

they’re making the sonics go Feral Apeshit ™ so its easier to arrest them for longer

_ jim carrey _

*Way to take the fun out of the reveal!*

In any case, you’re likely too la

WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTING MY VEHICLE

_ technically a terrorist _

NO

I WILL PUNCH YOU AGAIN AND FINISH MY SENTENCE THIS TIME

_ jim carrey _

You’ll have to worry about your feral bastard children first, small-town.

_ kachow _

DAD I CANT FIND PRIME ANYMORE AND EVERYTHING HURTS IM SCARED

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-now _

Im on my way bb, stay put ok?

_ technically a terrorist _

SHADOW, SEE IF YOU CAN TRACK SCOURGE AND FLEET

TAILS, KNUCKLES, GO AFTER PRIME

CLASSY, GO WITH MADDIE TO THE HOUSE

Robotnik, i swear to god, ill come back here and make you wish you had a mother to cry to

_ jim carrey _

Thomas, I thought you were above making fun of orphans

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

NOT THIS ONE YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER

IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ROBOTNIKS EVERYWHERE ARE BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKERS THEY THINK HURTING LITERAL CHILD IS OK THATS RIGHT ROBOTNIKS HAD SHITTY CHILDHOODS AND INSTEAD OF GROWING PASSED THAT THEY MAKE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND THEM MISERABLE

FUCK YOU ROBOTNIK

_ lol, forgot he was here _

holy cow, i know this is urgent but that was a *read*

_ jim carrey _

Don’t you have rodents to hunt?

_ technically a terrorist _

I have sons to save and a crazy former government still-wackjob to hunt fuck you


	67. its not that bad

_ technically a terrorist _

Maddie? any luck?

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

yeah

I have our sonic and ive calmed him down

_ technically a terrorist _

Calmed him down? is he ok???

_ am smart _

yeah, super freaked out tho and broke his phone

on the plus side, he has a new form!

_ technically a terrorist _

“NEW FORM”??!?!?!?!?!

HOW IS THAT OK??????

_ lol, forgot he was here _

omg relax he literally got the easiest out of most of the sonics 

hes not absolutely feral like prime probably is and no on has even caught up with the other two yet

_ technically a terrorist _

*”feral”*???

_ am smart _

my sonic got dark gaia poisoned before so its likely there was some leftover poisoning that made this poisoning more potent

or something

im a bit frazzled at the moment so thats the theory im running with

_ needs a life _

SPEAKING OF RUNNING

NEED HELP

SCOURGE IS CHASING ME NOW

IDK WHERE SHADOW AND FLEETWAY ARE

WACHOWSKI KNOW HOW TO USE HIS ARMS YET

_ technically a terrorist _

know how to use his arms????

id hope so????????

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

new form werewolf hedgehog stretchy arms

dont ask, the questions even without the answers will hurt your brain

_ lol, forgot he was here _

its not that bad

me and sonic will help zonic with scourge

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

HELL NO

I WILL

YALL ARE HELPING KNUCKLES WITH PRIME

_ am smart _

why???

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

prime’s less dangerous for my boys rn

*I* will help with scourge

tails, see if you can find a way to reverse the effects of the dark gaia poison

_ technically a terrorist _

I have wade and carl helping me look for robotnik

_ lol, forgot he was here _

different carl from crazy carl

_ technically a terrorist _

no, same guy but he started going to counseling and got his life together

i even deputized him

real proud of him

_ needs jesus _

oh, good for him!

_ green pastel goth _

u love to see it!

_ technically a terrorist _

BOYS STOP RUNNING COME BACK

_ needs jesus _

no <3

_ green pastel goth _

also no <3

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

*im going after you 2*

_ green pastel goth _

Oh Fuck ™ 

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

oh fuck indeed

you better hope robotnik finds you before i do because when i do, youre both grounded

_ needs jesus _

OH FUCK ™ 


	68. please never say furry rampage again

_ emo _

We need backup over here!

_ technically a terrorist _

omw, we can find the robotniks later

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

translation: you lost them

_ technically a terrorist _

you cant prove anything

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

…

_ technically a terrorist _

you are correct

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

i know

_ green pastel goth _

im so sorry

im sorry

the super form is gone it timed out

fleets is still flying around but i cant see him

I dropped in the forest idk where

_ needs a life _

It’s ok, I’m on my way. It’s going to be ok.

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

its ok scourge, it wasnt youre fault

the robotniks were planning this entire thing

_ green pastel goth _

ill kick their asses

dont try to stop me

_ technically a terrorist _

we’re literally going to do the same thing

wait for zon to pick you up and we can make it a group project

_ green pastel goth _

oh

ok

_ joint _

speaking of group projects, classy and wachowski helped me calm my sonic down but it looks like the dark gaia poisoning is effecting him more physically

_ am smart _

how do you mean?

_ joint _

well he has similar purple/pinkish markings to the other dark gaia monsters this time and the whites of his eyes went black while he was in his furry rampage

_ am smart _

please never say furry rampage again

_ technically a terrorist _

well hey, most of us are back! this is good

_ needs jesus _

a̵̛͈̼̩̪̩̙͕̻̦̍́̉̔͜͠n̴̨͍̗͍͚͋͗d̸̞͖͓̖͙̹̘͉̟̟͒̇̆̍̉̒͐͛͝ ̵̡͎̲̳̟̝̳̯̝̮͒̃̾͐̽̾̾͝ẏ̵̺͚͖̮̝̭͕͇͓̌͊͆͆̊̄͂͑̓͜e̶̩͈̳̅ț̸̨̩͈̩̯̞̞͑͛̾͑̇̊͒͝ ̷̘̩͚̈́y̸̢̧̰̲̖̖̱̬̰̟͘͝o̷̧̰̙̙̞̤̦̬̗̔̂͒̚͘u̷̡̡̠̭̳̯̪͐̿̔͝ͅv̴̯̲̩̠͈͓͎̜͂è̸̖͙̙̠͚͎̭͇͌̐͌̍̂̉̕͜͜ ̵̩̥̟̥̺͓̌͛̋l̴̢͓͙͓̟̳̥̰̞̠͛͂͗̋̈́͝ơ̷͔̝̭͓̬͚͍͓̫̥̈̑̋͒̆̀͝s̴̨̡̨̫̹̫̳̲̈̚͝ͅt̴̫̀̽̐̉ ̴̻̜͔͇̰͔̭̗̲̏͂̈͗̍̃̋̚͝ö̴̦̘̜́̏̓̈̋́͗̾̔n̶̨̲͈͕̯͇͈̙̒͝e̷̼̯̯̒͋̾

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

what do you mean?

fleets?

_ needs jesus _

not quite the sonic you’re hoping for, maddison

_ lol, forgot he was here _

everyone’s with a buddy except for shadow

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

@ _ emo _

@ _ emo _

@ _ emo _

_ technically a terrorist _

what did you do?!

_ needs jesus _

thats for you to find out when you find him <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prime Sonic's new werehog look is based on [The Heart of a Monster](https://the-heart-of-a-monster.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr! It's a retelling of Sonic: Unleashed, except with more of our pals like Knuckles and Team Dark involved! His look is specifically from [issue 3 page 15](https://the-heart-of-a-monster.tumblr.com/post/190889529783/the-heart-of-a-monster-issue-3-page-15-issue-1)!
> 
> I've been following this comic since the second issue so go check it out and go send the dudes over there lots of love!


	69. its what the donut lord does

_ god??? _

ok so gameplan

_ green pastel goth _

the gameplan is yall get shadow or whatever and im going after my boyfriend

_ technically a terrorist _

No, youre not

_ green pastel goth _

like hell

_ technically a terrorist _

because youre going after the robotniks

_ green pastel goth _

...im listening

_ kachow _

finally

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Zonic, me, tails and classy are going to go find and help Shadow

Prime, my son lad, and knuckles are going to stop fleets from getting into town

_ technically a terrorist _

And ill clear the town to make sure no one gets hurt if the robotniks or fleets gets there

_ needs a life _

But you’ll be in the direct line of fire!

_ kachow _

he saves people

its what the donut lord does

_ am smart _

I think im better suited to help tom evacuate the town

_ god??? _

be careful, bro

_ kachow _

you too dad

_ technically a terrorist _

you guys be safe too

and ill keep my eye on tails, dont u worry prime

_ am smart _

we’ll be watching each other’s backs

_ technically a terrorist _

i appreciate that

ill call carl, u call wade

_ am smart _

right

_ green pastel goth _

what about finding the robotniks?

_ technically a terrorist _

they were heading north into the forest from the pet store last i saw

_ green pastel goth _

on it

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

For the rest of you , follow the trail of smoke in the sky

_ joint _

already on it

(ok but like sonic is giving me a piggyback ride through the forest and his fur is so soft i love him)

_ lol, forgot he was here _

PERHAPS IT ISNT TIME TO SIMP

_ joint _

ITS ALWAYS TIME TO SIMP FOR MY MANS

WEREMANS

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Dont you both have places to be?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao yall dont know whats coming next chapter and I'm sorry to yall


	70. Art!

[](https://ibb.co/hR3WKCm)

This is art for the kidnapped wachowski arc done by the ever-so lovely [ Shura](http://shuradrawz.tumblr.com) on Tumblr!


	71. I GOT A BAG OF RICE ASSHOLE

_ am smart _

I CANT FIND TOM

_ kachow _

WHAT MEAN YOU

AND WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE ITS BEEN SEVERAL MONTHS SINCE WE’VE DONE ANYTHING

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Its ok, its ok, dont panic, hes probably just helping civilians out

The Johnsons are old, hes probably helping them with their joints 

_ god??? _

I GOT A NOT-CRUSHED PHONE

ok so everything sucks rn but @ **green pastel goth** i have eyes on robotniks, theyre heading towards town hall.

_ green pastel goth _

Omw

_ needs a life _

Me too. Don’t attack until backup arrives. 

_ green pastel goth  _

***BITCH ITS ONSIGHT***

_ needs a life _

Disappointed but not surprised.

_ needs jesus _

Ǐ̸͇̱̫̤͍̰̒̐͜͝ ̸̜̙͉͓̦̘̇̍̅̇͝ŝ̸̡̢͍̟͍̝̤͌̉́̐͠e̴̠̖̟̘̪͓̯̣̻͂̔̏̃̈́͜ě̷̥̬̟͖̠̣ ̴̧̛͓͎͍͛͛̊͛̈́͗̑ś̸͓̪͕̬̳̬̝͗̃̉̐̾̅͑̓͝o̸̢͉̞̬̯̟͊̃m̵̢͕̂͐̒̀͊̈́͠ȩ̷̧͙̦̀͛̋̂͜o̷͔̝͍̦̤̮͉͇͙̓͐̈́͂̏n̷̟͋̄̚e̶̢͖̮͍̬̟̼̫.̵̡̹̳̬̟̻͈̳͂̒̄̎.̵͔̀̏̆.̸̘͕̆̅͌̉̂̈́

_ god??? _

is it my fist? 

Ill answer for u, it is

_ needs jesus _

MOTHERFUCKER THAT HURT

_ kachow _

HOLY CRAP

_ am smart _

*gasp*

_ joints _

HE JUST PUNCHED THE SUPER OUT OF FLEETWAY

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Great! fleets, do you remember where and what happened to shadow?

_ needs jesus _

I threw him in the lake

with his phone lol

_ emo _

I GOT A BAG OF RICE ASSHOLE

_ needs jesus _

HALP

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

Kill him later, fight the robotniks now!

_ kachow _

Im going to go long arms them rn!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while....
> 
> Here I am warning you guys about my dislocated shoulder then come back like two days later only to disappear unannounced for months, that's real yikes of me tbh
> 
> But for real I was going through Stuff TM, didn't have motivation, and generally was trying to get myself together. Hopefully I'm back as I want to be: a lot and still blowing minds left and right. Thanks for sticking with me folks!


	72. Chapter 72

_ lol, forgot he was here _

hey uh where are you guys cause i have some news

_ joint _

the other sonics are at the town hall

started fighting the robuttniks

whats up???

_ lol, forgot he was here _

it can wait until after the fight

_ am smart _

good cause Tails has Joined the Battle

_ joint _

Knuckles has Descended into Smash

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I have thrown my trusty shovel at a floaty egg and I am Running :™: to homedepot to get more

_ needs a life _

I don’t know if I’m more impressed with your speed or the strength it took to pierce the Eggmobile with a plastic shovel.

_ needs a life _

its mum, go with both

_ god??? _

lol, mum

_ needs a life _

fuck all the up shuts

_ emo _

focus!!!!

one of the mobiles are down but zobotnik is trying to escape

_ lol, forgot he was here _

I WONT LET HIM HIS ASS IS GRASS

_ joint _

wow ok

got it in one hit

_ green pastel goth _

this may be hypocritical of me to ask

*but r u good homie????*

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

I HAVE SHOVELS WHAT HAPPENED

_ green pastel goth _

the walking bowling ball got it

_ kachow _

And lost his shit

_ god??? _

*GASP*

_ emo _

*GASP*

_ am smart _

*GASP*

_ joint _

SAY NOT THAT WORD, CHILD

_ lol, forgot he was here _

guys ill just straight up say it, tom was hurt, he was in an ambulance last i saw

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

its ok its ok, ill get the truck and bring it around

ur all tired so ill drive us to the hospital

_ needs a life _

Your son already took off, Shadow’s with him.

_ hell-hath-no-fury-like-mine _

ok, @ **emo** let me know how he is

The rest of you, sit tight, Im on my way

**Author's Note:**

> hey there folks! i'd like to let yall know that i have a discord server for anyone that enjoys sonic fan-content! stop on by!
> 
> Update! Link don't work! Copy paste this: https://discord.gg/yxdtJPyw6f


End file.
